Hey! I think I've found the savior to our current nation's political woes. This guy sounds like the real deal. And his platforms and ideals will help us move forward in the nation. Platforms and ideals such as:
I will cure the national hangover, and usher in Happy Hour in America!
On health care: With enough will, we can end crabs in our lifetime.
On gun control: Limiting each American to 25 bullets a year (or 20 for convicted felons)
On taxes: Americans will stop paying taxes altogether. We will simply send the military across our northern border every morning, and beat up the Canadians for their lunch money.
On youth issues: Rolling back the voting age to 16 and the statutory age to 15 - no, let's say 14.

I say, let's work hard to put Joseph Fitzpatrick Fitzgerald Fitzhenry Quimby in the White House.