Ok, FINE. I guess I can be officially called "fat" now. After seeing me last week from my visit to L.A. my brother said I was "biiggg." Today, I went to Macy's to buy some new shirts-- you know, the kind where you actually want an exact measurement and not just a "small, medium, or large." I had them measure me and my necksize was an inch more than I thought.

It's not that I mind so much being bigger; I've gotten used to it and I don't feel this great need to change my looks coming from within. But from without, from the larger society, I feel this incredible pressure to fit in, fit in smaller clothes, fit into the conformity of it all, and fit into tight shirts for the gay community. Well, that's not gonna happen for a while, if ever. Why can't we all just learn to be happy with who we are as we are instead of all this conformist and guilt crap?