Casting call for the new "American Idol" movie:

Elaine: 18-20 years old, Caucasian. This beautiful bombshell is Kelly's best friend, who thinks guys should always like her better than Kelly. The role model for this character is Reese Witherspoon, and should be an actress who can sing. As opposed to a singer who can act, since we know how well that turns out.
Barbara: 18-20 years old, African American. Kelly's fun-loving, energetic and bubbly friend.
Brandon: 18-20 years old, ethnicity open. Justin's good-looking friend, the cool guy who is all talk and no action.
Louie: 18-20, fair-haired. Justin's sensitive, geeky friend. Louie is licking his wounds from a recent breakup with his girlfriend.

I'm sorry, Don, but I hate Hollywood. Gag me with a spoon already.