Sunday, September 14, 2003

I always HATED gym class in high school. And the thing is that having grown up now I consider the gym and exercise as part of my life and future. But gym class in high school never instilled perspective or love of sports or exercise or physical strength. It instilled fear and rejection and self-loathing. And the reason? Because gym class never really involved the individual's potential.... without some sort of comparison and competition between others. This always left me at the last of the line, the wimpiest and most pathetic student. I tried, I really did try to do some good in class. But my abilities were never as good as the other students and that didn't build me up, that made me feel worthless and less interested in working towards something better-- especially for my own self-esteem. If gym teachers and coaches would spend less time promoting the competition between students, the competitiveness of gym activities, the macho attitude of the physical then maybe I, and other nerds & future gay men & women & so forth, might have had and would have a chance at bettering our physical and emotional states. But I never found a teacher who would encourage me within that perspective. I only had intimidating tauntings and the continual losses of competitions. I had to find the gym and exercise and physical fun and endorphins on my own, years later, and it was no thanks to our school climate in this country. And the fact that exercise is incredibly important for everyone is lost to many because of the attitudes and environment of our high school gyms.

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