i realized yesterday

this summer will mark my 5th year in san francisco. around the turn of the new year in 1999 i was dreaming of a move to san francisco, but couldn't seem to make it real. i was scared and hopeful and worried and frustrated and wondered, as i sat stagnantly in washington, dc. i wouldn't end up making the 'crazy' final decision to just pack it up and move, without a job or friends or ties or money, until the spring. 5 years later it's easy to see it was the right decision, something of course i knew immediately upon arrival that summer. but in early 1999 i was still struggling and stressed and worried. sometimes, i think, we struggle the most with the decisions we know are right.

i've also been realizing, ever since i was jobless in 2003, that i don't want to live anywhere else. i'm where i want to be. and that's a powerful realization. and the first time i've ever had that thought. there's still much i desire in life, but being where i want to live, and knowing that in my heart and soul, is a great foundation for the rest of LIFE.