"Buff the Girlie-Man"

Our hero, Buff, was by day, an average ordinary kid in high school, dodging the slings and arrows of bullying and hatred tossed from his mean-spirited classmates. But by night, and on weekends, Buff was the Girlie-Man—a tactical smart effective ignorance-fighting machine whose mission was to save the world from low-test scores and underachievement, and to fight for truth, justice, and the American way.

Every day, Buff the Girlie-Man dutifully went off to school with completed homework in his backpack. He also prepared himself for the daily ritual of taunting, particularly from his archenemy, Annul the Bully, who hadn’t done his homework, wasn’t prepared for class, and preferred instead to ridicule him as a way to feel superior.

On one such Monday morning, Buff the Girlie-Man stepped onto the bus to school and found Annul the Bully waiting to harass him in the back seat. Annul the Bully had spent the weekend partying around town, playing up his popularity, but not having done any of his homework. He knew he was falling behind in school, but in order to feel better about himself, he chose to pick on our hero Buff the Girlie-Man.

“Hey, Girlie-Man, what did you do all weekend? Your homework!?” Annul the Bully snidely chastised our hero.

“Yes, of course, our homework is due this morning.”

“Hey, Girlie-Man, you are weak and stupid.”

And with that comment, our hero Buff the Girlie-Man went back to his books and refused to listen to Annul the Bully any longer.

In class, the students were handing in their homework. Annul the Bully didn’t have any homework to turn in, and so he insulted our hero Buff the Girlie-Man instead. Our hero stoically withstood the mal-treatment once again.

Everyday at school was the same-- taunting, harassment, spit-wads, and name-calling from Annul the Bully. Our hero found it distracting and would sometimes get angry, but would never allow it to distract him from his ultimate goals of Pride in his work, graduation, and saving America from ignorance.

In the end, on graduation day, our hero Buff the Girlie-Man found himself giving the valedictory speech to his fellow graduating peers while Annul the Bully was held back another year in school for failing to pass the grade. Annul the Bully shouted more names at Buff the Girlie-Man, but this time his shouts were drowned out by a chorus of cheers from the masses, and the rest of America, for Buff the Girlie-Man’s intellect, resoluteness, endurance through adversity, and humble Pride.

Buff the Girlie-Man was Proud of himself and his accomplishments. He knew that, if he worked hard enough, truth and justice would always win out in the end. And he could save America from utter ignorant destruction, and even help Annul the Bully.