Wednesday, May 04, 2005

a Gay man's guide to the recent horror, the horror-movie, 'amityville horror,' which as i said was a complete horror, as a film:


Let’s just break it down to what you need to know:

1. Yes, this is a visually flashy, mediocre remake of the classic 1979 spine-tingler.
2. Lots of bad things happen: Blood runs from the wall, and the fly/priest scene is intact.
3. Melissa George is a capable actor, who cries a lot and does it well.
4. Ryan Reynolds is half-naked in several scenes, in which the camera lingers lovingly over his torso.
5. In one such scene, Reynolds is wet and only wearing pajama bottoms, and you don’t care that he’s going crazy.
6. In another scene, Reynolds takes a bath, and unfortunately it’s more about a creepy occurrence than him being naked.
7. Even when completely crazy and wearing bloodshot-eye contacts, Reynolds is hot, and guarantees you’ll see a lot more gay men sporting beards come next fall.
8. Whether such half-naked scenes are worth your $10 depends on how bored and lonely you feel.

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