(busy times, busy times, sorry i haven't written. this next week is even crazier, but things should calm down soon after, hopefully.)

i'm going to be taking part in an aids research study

i was recruited to be a part of the medical trial recently and went in for some further analysis, bloodwork, and general background checks. this study is going to be testing the long-term safety of an aids drug called Tenofovir in gay men who are hiv-negative. eventually the hope is that it will be proven safe and through further research that it might be of use in preventing hiv transmission in the future. but right now they're just seeing if it's safe for gay men who don't have hiv.

it's a two-year drug trial and i'll be regularly screened at the health department for all-health issues to see if it's affecting me or not in any way. there's also the possibility that i'll just be getting a placebo, like a sugarpill or something, and no one will know whether i'm getting the real thing or the placebo until the 2years are over. that way they can check and see if any possible effects are real or just psychosomatic.

when i was presented this opportunity, i initially didn't want to be involved in anything that had to do with taking drugs. but the more i thought about it the more i felt like it was an important way to help aids research in my own way. and they will be with me through the treatment, regularly screening and giving me regular doctor's appointments to do checkups and hear any kind of thoughts i may have about it. and if it does become problematic for me at any time, they will take me off of it or i can quit.

the more i thought about it, the more i thought about how we're in a health crisis in the world and so little is being done. the more i thought about it, the more i thought about how during these years of conservative rule we in our community are going to have to do more and more just to take care of ourselves. and the more i thought about it, the more i wanted to help as much as possible in an area that i can help. i don't have hiv or aids, but i could someday, and maybe i can help those who have it now, those who will have it in the future, and be a part of finding a cure for all of us so we can end this nightmare one day.