HI-larious:
"I've never been a fan of amphibians. Not only do they strengthen the argument for evolution, they are nature's fence sitters. Come on amphibians, which is it...water or land? Pick one. We're at war." ---Stephen Colbert

"[Bush,] you were in Baghdad for six hours. You weren't even in the real Baghdad. You were in the Green Zone. That's like going to the Olive Garden and saying you've been to Italy." ---Jon Stewart
(i went to the olive garden recently and my friend had the 'tour of italy' meal and it was wonderful-- three types of pasta! it felt just like we were traveling around the whole country. ok, not really, but it was delicious!)