new column:

Consensual Acts
Versus
“You’re Either With Us Or Against Us”

There are all sorts of ‘power.’

There is a sense of power found through force.
There is a sense of power found through intimidation.
There is a sense of power found through anger.
There is a sense of power found through opposition.
There is a sense of power found through offense
There is a sense of power found through defense.

Mistakenly, many tend to believe that these types of power are the only ways to be ‘power’ful and achieve their goals. However, these only offer a sense of power because true power is actually not attainable by anyone. All situations where power is involved are situational and fleeting.

A dictator only has so much control over a specific population, and even within that there is always dissidence. Even a bully loses power outside of the circumstances of the proverbial schoolyard. Even a master can lose control and lose face.

That is why those seeking power for its own sake are looking falsely and will never achieve what they truly want. Power in and of itself is not achievable.

Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke of a different way to achieve goals. Through civil disobedience and heartfelt reasoning, they showed that power did not have to be filled with rage or by wielding fists or taking up arms. Goals could be achieved by showcasing truth and love and through tapping into the better instincts of humans.

One of the things I’ve always loved about the LGBT community is that we often come together though a spirit of love. When I first joined the community and began attending my first meetings, I remember being so shocked that everyone hugged each other, and often kissed. It wasn’t just a handshake showing recognition, but a hug showing love and care. We knew we had all been through our own internal and external struggles and we know that these struggles don’t necessarily ever end and we support each other throughout.

However, it can be so easy to forget our larger struggles and goals and hopes, and quest for some unspoken power. Power has that ability to fuel itself and overtake us completely. We LGBT people are just as guilty as everyone else in being human and being drawn to the quest for power. Our movement has for the most part followed the Gandhi and King routes and worked from a more positive place. And we are all the better for that and change is here and still coming.

Sometimes we do still mistakenly believe, just as all humans, that if we wield some type of power through intimidation or force, we can gain something larger. This is a mistake because the greater strength is to work with each other. Consensus is not easy and can create difficulties, but in the long run produces better futures for us all. And it comes from a stronger, better place within. And we LGBT people know more than anyone that true strength comes from within.

I was in the LGBT Center’s 3 Dollar Bill Café the other day and overheard a terrific intellectual conversation about the power that can come from both a dominant and submissive position in a sexual coupling. They had an interesting political take on that by saying that even though, for instance, the president of the United States is powerful, the position is ultimately subservient to the people. Within this context, this puts a new twist on the idea of who is actually serving whom.

Bush’s famous mantra of ‘you’re either with us or against us’ is a classic example of a delusion of power. Yes, he may have some sense of power and he may wield his forces to his liking and he may win some battles. But his ultimate ‘power’ lies only in the willingness of those of us who oppose him and his ideas to acquiesce to him. Had he tried to work with his opponents instead of what he has done, he would have been able to achieve a great deal more in the long run. Instead, he is seeing the beginnings of his true downfall because he has lost the respect and moral authority he so desperately desired for so long.

Consensus is not easy and takes time, but it recognizes that true power does not exist in itself. Power is not a goal. Power is a red herring in the fight for the goals upon which we seek. I am proud to be within a community that values seeking within ourselves inner strength and the ability to work together. It is why we shall achieve our goals in the long run.