i'm sorry i haven't written in a while. so much work. it's been incredibly crazy here ever since i returned from vacation. that said, i still have a lot of work to do, but below is my new column and here is the latest newsletter:

"Taking the Long Way Home"

Every Christmas, I spend the holidays with my family back home in Missouri. This year things were different, as my parents had purchased a new home further out in the suburbs of Kansas City than our usual suburban home. As strange as that seemed for me before I got there, it still felt like home even without being in our old one where we was raised. The family being together made it home indeed.

And instead of rushing off to the airport to catch a quick flight back home to our City by the Bay, I decided to enjoy myself and relax with a train ride across the country. You see, the thing about trains is that they get you where you want to go, even all the way across a continent, and there ain’t no pressure to rush anywhere. You get there when you get there.

And I love that about trains. They’re slow and ol-fashioned and that is just alright with me. Because oftentimes, the trip itself is the point. And what a trip it’s been. This particular train ride takes you right through the heart of the Rocky Mountains, where one side is a valley down below the track, t’other side is a rocky cliff above, and many a tunnel is traveled through.

There were a few delays here and there, due to snow and ice on the tracks, and a stop now and then for people to get off and on. And the train does indeed move quite slow. My schedule isn’t on the time we thought it might be. But we’ll get there when we get there. And in the meantime I’m writing this here column and reading a good book and drinking bottomless cups of coffee. Oh, and did I mention the lovely views outside my window? Yeah, the trip itself is the point, not just trying to get to my destination all quicklike. The trip is actually a trip, not just a means to get somewhere.

Life is a lot like a trainride. We all try and plan to get somewhere as quick as possible—whether it’s to grow up cuz we don’t want to be a kid no more, or at least turn 21 so we can play outside, or maybe it’s to get done with school so we can start living our life, and maybe it’s just to keep on going to the next destination we’ve set up for ourself—more school, a better career, a different job, a person to settled down with, a shot at an award of some sort, what have you. And we’s always in a big hurry to get to that destination we’ve put in our own head.

Yet, there are delays and obstacles and troubles along the way, when all we really want is to get there now and that’ll make us happy, surely, that’ll make us happy when we get there. But it would seem that everytime we get to a destination of our choosing, the joy is fleeting and we’re more than likely ready for a new and exciting destination that we can’t wait to get to. Such is life in the fastlane.

So sometimes, it’s good to slow things down and recognize that life itself isn’t necessarily about getting to somewhere, but actually enjoying and finding comfort in the trip itself. That don’t mean that getting to that location ain’t gonna do us no good. It’s just to say that life is full of destinations and hopes and dreams. It’s also full of trials and tribulations and travels that make those destinations all the more sweet and joyous upon arrival.

When we in the LGBT community fight for the day that we are truly free and equal and accepted as we are, without reservations or concerns, we want to obviously get to that day as quickly as possible because we cannot wait til that day comes. And that’s alright. But if that’s all we live for, without finding the joy in the day we are in now, then we may never find joy and we may be breaking ourselves down with what-could-have-beens and what-might-bes. It’s not to say that we won’t get to that day, and it’s not to say that we shouldn’t fight for that day; it’s to say that there’s a long way to get there with many trials and tribulations and joys and dreams and hopes and love, lotsa love, along the way. And if we stop to recognize that all of that, all of those things along the way, are part of the joy we can enjoy now and feel now and be now, then the trip itself ain’t so bad afterall. The trip itself is what life is, with a destination before us and a past behind us that shaped us and molded us and gave us the strength to get where we are now and where we’re going to be soon.

It’s like the trainride. There may be delays and obstacles, no doubt. But we will get to the destination. Oh yes, we will get to the destination we’ve set up for ourselves. Because the tracks are laid out in front, the train’s not going back, and even if it takes a little while longer to get there, it’s gonna get there, no doubt. So, even though we like things rushed and quick and easy, part of life is recognizing that getting there isn’t just to get there itself, but finding the joys in the trip itself and knowing that the destination will be eventually reached—those are what make life full and the destination itself all the more fulfilling.