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"Spider-Man vs. Ex-Men"

"With great power comes great responsibility"- Spider-Man

"The time is coming when all that we are afraid of will be all that can save us."- X-Men



Ten years ago I was in love. Deeply, desperately, passionately in love.

Ten years ago I was dumped. Left alone. Emptied. Bereft. Devastated. And, yet, I was still deeply, desperately, passionately in love.

Ten years ago I couldn't see any future of my life without my then-boyfriend. My future seemed so intermixed with his that to consider a life without him seemed implausible, unimaginable.

It took a long while to finally realize he wasn't going to come back to me. It took a long while for me to realize I was on my own. All those late night talks about our love and future together and hopes and dreams and the little things in life were gone.

He cheated; he lied; he broke my heart into tiny little sharp-edged pieces. And my life seemed to be without a purpose any longer. What I had thought was the person closest to me in the world, who was my soul mate, had not only hurt me deeply, but also simply disappeared from my life in an instant.


Ten years on I look back at all of this and find some nostalgia and some wonder, but mostly I am proud. I made it through one of the worst periods of my life, when I could see no future, and I am a stronger person for it. I know now that my future was not with him and that it was for the best, in the long run, for us to separate. Yes, he did me wrong, but, well, people are like that sometimes. We're all a little bit confused when it comes to relationships and what works and what doesn't.

Since that relationship, I've had a few other ones where I've been hurt, or maybe they've been hurt, or maybe there was nothing really felt at all. Part of relationships is realizing that we each have our own responsibilities and powers over ourselves and each other and what we do and where we go.

While in a relationship, we can choose to work at it, be kind to each other, love fully and openly, understand that we're both human, try to do our best... Or we can choose differently. After a relationship ends, we can choose to heal ourselves, understand our own failures, forgive them for theirs, hold our heads up, try to do our best... Or we can choose differently. And while playing the part of a bitter old Queen does have its shining moments, I do try my best to forgive and understand.

As in the lines from the movie Spider-Man, there truly is 'a hero in all of us.' And what we do with our powers of love and life are up to us. Ultimately we are the ones responsible for utilizing our powers for the good of ourselves and those around us. The Ex-Men have their own responsibilities and powers and will make their own choices. And in the end, what we most fear, an end to a relationship, may indeed be what actually saves us all.