new column:

"The Blinds Leading the Blind"

I've written before about how I'm not very good with technology and gadgetry. It's still true. There's this space in my brain that's missing that element of ability or knowledge. I usually start out with some thought that, 'yes, I can do this!' and then I begin to utilize this area of my brain and there's some misdirection with the nodules and impulses and such and all I get out of my brain is 'that does not compute.' And honestly, I go blind. I cannot see instructions or logic any longer. Everything is blurry and mixed up in my head.

So this last month my dear friend helped me put together my new computer and switch over all the files from my old one to the new. If I didn't have him to help me with these things I swear I would be still writing on typewriters--and even then worrying about the time when the tape runs out.

But more to the point of this column, I had another episode which emphasized my inabilities. I bought new blinds for my home windows. And of course I started out very excited and fully functional in the theory of putting those up on the windows myself. I mean, they came with instructions, I had the tools, even a drill--thank you Father!--and I had the will.

But then came the actual time when I was standing on the window sill and putting the brackets in place for the new blinds, and, suddenly, my mind went blank. 'does not compute' 'does not compute' cannot function anymore, can't see anything in front of me, must sleep... bleh.

So there I was holding a bracket in one hand, laying my head on the other, and falling into a deep sleep on my bed while my window stayed blind-less. My window was as open as that space in my brain that doesn't compute. I was vulnerable and without knowledge. I was back in my state of dysfunction.

So, what to do? Well, while I wished my father was visiting town right now and while I wished my mom would make me some toast and while I kept remembering that, gosh, geez, I'm an adult and I can take care of myself, I just laid there helplessly. Well, luckily I have friends. Friends who will help. And so a dear friend came over one day recently, took out my tools, and put my blinds up while I 'helped.' Yeah, I know, kinda pathetic. Very pathetic. It's these little things that remind me of my loser-aptitudes.

But then, where would any of us be without our friends and family? There has always been sometime in our lives where we've depended on another. And those of us in the LGBT community in particular have looked to friends who would be there if and when are family or so-called 'friends' turned away from us when we revealed a fuller life to them about ourselves.

I do need to get stronger about these types of mechanical and manual activities. I really do. And I plan to. Right after I finish this column. I swear. But regardless, we are all in this life together and it's good to know that I have a friend or two I can find to help when the chips, or in this case the blinds, are down.