Faggot, Epilogue: "I Lost My Hat to Prop 8"


I lost my hat.

I lost my hat fighting against Proposition 8.

At some point during election day while working the polls, the streets, the public and trying to get them not to ratify into the constitution discrimination against me and my family, I lost my hat.

It's my own fault really.

I put the hat down, into a bag, on the street corner, while campaigning.

I was in the midst of a long day of sign waving on the busy street of Van Ness Avenue.

And after most of the day, I had decided to take the hat off for a while.

And I put it in the bag the No on Prop 8 people had given our crew for our area.

And when I left for the day, tired, worn out, and worried about 8, I forgot my hat.

I left it in the bag, on the street corner.

It's very sad to me.

I loved that hat.

Everything would have been much simpler and comfortable if I hadn't have lost it.  I could be wearing it right now.  Or not.  But it would be here, with me, anytime I wanted it.  But it's gone now and I guess I sort of took it for granted.

Of course, it's a little thing really.  I mean, in the midst of everything we lost that day with 8, it doesn't really matter.

What bothers me most is that I blame myself, and sometimes the No on 8 campaign, for losing my hat.  

What was I thinking leaving it there?  Why didn't I remember I left it there?  

But also, why did the No on 8 campaign leave me so alone to where the hat was abandoned when I forgot it?  Why didn't the No on 8 people call me up afterwards and give me my hat?  Why did the No on 8 campaign lose my hat when they should have found it for me and given it back?  Why wasn't the campaign better organized?  Why are my rights and my hat gone?

It's not exactly rational.  It's just how my mind works and combines the two.

And it's not anyone's fault.  It just happened.  

And of course, unlike our rights, I can go buy a new hat after it's been lost.  

Well, perhaps we may try to get our rights back with the courts, or the next election, or through the long process of just changing one heart and one mind at a time until finally someone realizes we deserve our rights and we can have them without having to demand them.

And perhaps someone will find my hat and realize it's mine and give it back to me.

And yes, I've been keeping myself busy with some important hat shopping this month, and there are many good hats to find.

But I still just wish I hadn't have lost it in the first place.  It seems like it all would be much easier.

I wish my life was easier.