"Dog"

My dog keeps my secrets.
I cannot tell anyone else. My life, my real life, the truth about myself.
I cannot tell anyone else in the world about the truth of my life.
So I tell my dog.
She listens.
She hears me.
Lord knows what she thinks.
But I know that she hears me.
And I know that she supports me.

There are times when I am home alone, away from the world, and away from all the people in my life, and she is my only ear. And while she may not know exactly what I say, and I know not whether she understands the specifics, I know that she hears me, and I know that she loves me. And I know that she is there with me. During all these times. These many times.

There have been many nights when I have taken her counsel by simply placing my trust in her with my secrets that only she and I share. I look into her eyes, I try not to cry, and I tell her every little detail that I am too ashamed and guilty to share with anyone else.

One night after having done something of which should not be done, I am alone with her now, and I pull up beside her, I lay my head next to hers, I rest my hand along her back, I slowly brush the hairs with my fingers, and I begin to tell her my secret. I raise my head and I look into her eyes, and I gush it all out so. She stares back at me. Her eyes droop inside their sockets and she looks at me puzzled and raises her head and just looks and looks and looks at me. She licks my face. I kiss her head. I cry on her shoulder.

My secret is out. Now I have said it. I have told someone my secrets. And as I contemplate the fact now that I have said what I have said and done what I have done and told someone what I have told, I realize now that there is no turning back. The world knows my secrets. It is not just a secret that rests within my soul and can vanish away as if I made it all up in my head. I know that I had this moment with she who heard me whisper these facts out to the world by the sound of my voice and the use of my throat and the weight of my breath. So while she has heard my secrets, spoken, voiced, announced, and she will keep them to herself and no one will hear of them from her. The truth is, while my dog has heard my secrets, and as I have told them and spoken them and voiced them outloud, the fact of the matter is, the truth really is, that she is not the only one who heard them, for whether I want to believe it or not, whether I can stomach it or not, whether she soothes my truths with her eyes and her love and her support, whatever the case may be, the truth and the fact and of all that matters in the world, is that assuredly, I have heard them too.