So I've decided to add a few of my own explosive headlines to the media insanity:

Congressman Condit Often Seen Eating Meat; One Outraged Vegetarian Asks: "I think we all know how Ms. Levy disappeared."

CONGRESSMAN CONDIT URINATES IN PUBLIC bathroom

Elvis Says Condit Did It; Elvis Re-emergizes Alive to Weigh In

Aliens Say Chandra Levy Was Abducted For Needed Tests; Condit Admits He Is An Alien Baby

CONGRESSMAN CONDIT DID IT!!!!!!!
--(so says some guy named Bob)

Condit Seen Working At His Job; Outraged Americans Want To Know Why