So the other day, last Tuesday to be exact, my friend Susan asked me to go with her to see the world film premiere of a new movie entitled Let's Get Real by the Academy Award winning documentary director Debra Chasnoff and her colleagues from the ultra cool Women's Educational Media. Susan got tickets because her boss, our local Assemblyman, Mark Leno received complimentary tickets to see the screening. I sat in his chair for the evening, right next to former Ambassador James Hormel, so in a way I was the 'acting Assemblyman' for the evening (I wonder if that means I could have made some appointments to commissions or whatnot, hmmm...).

Anyway, I digress. The point is the movie. These filmmakers made a few other movies in the past which focused on listening to children talk about current social issues like gay and lesbian people, different types of families, racial issues, and the like. They have been groundbreaking in the last few years in having these important films seen by teachers and educators around the country to get a stronger grasp of how kids view and understand 'grown-up' social issues. Fascinating stuff. This new movie, Let's Get Real, is about the subject of bullying, name-calling, and maltreatment by kids to kids and among kids. They interviewed youth who had been bullied, youth who witnessed bullying, and bullies themselves. It's amazing to hear youth talk and say things about reality that everybody knows, but that adults often have a hard time saying. Kids say real stuff with real conviction and real emotion and they know what's real. After the movie everyone was talking about if or when they were bullied when they were in school, or what they witnessed, or what even they may have done to others. It's a powerful subject that is well known at schools, but how much of it is discussed today as adults?

I told my friend Susan, who asked about my experiences, that I was often bullied as a kid-- all the time in fact. I was often ridiculed and teased and pushed and threatened and picked on. Many times because I wasn't masculine enough and I was called 'gay' and 'sissy' and so forth. Other times just because they knew I wouldn't fight back-- as angry or upset as I might get, I didn't want to fight or say anything, I just wanted to be left alone. But I was never left alone. I had spitballs flung at me, one even landing in my eye. I had all kinds of names said. I had my watch stolen while being pushed up against a wall. I had a regular jerk who would pretend he wanted to be my 'husband' at lunchtime and would continually stand in my way and make kissing noises and stuff, all just to make the rest of the lunchtime crowd laught at my expense. I, well, there were just so many traumatic episodes that I'll never forget, and maybe some that are too hard to remember. I just remember crying a whole lot and wishing it would stop.

Susan said at one point that she would have defended me, and I said that she could have been one of my female friends from back then who would stand up for me by saying "He's not gay! Leave him alone." She laughed. But that's how they 'defended' me, in their way. Mostly, the point of all of this, is that the movie provoked discussions about real issues involving kids and many negative interactions that need to be addressed to lessen the harm. Teachers and educators need to see this film. And we everyday people need to be more vocal in discussing our pasts and experiences so that these can be better understood.

In what ways did bullying affect you?