women on planes, part one

going home to the midwest brought about more reminders of midwestern life than i had anticipated. on the way there, as i sat between my sister and my niece for our three hour flight from l.a. to kc, i noticed this young woman across the aisle. she was blonde and young and very attractive, dressed up all perty-like for the midwestern set, some nice beautiful lady you'd see shopping down at the plaza or the mall or whatnot, almost barbie-like. i noticed her because, well, she was 'noticing' me. me! why for? first of all, can't she tell? i mean, it's been years since a woman looked at me twice, but then again, i live in san francisco so they're rather used to the idea of us men being 'unavailable' of sorts. secondly, i was looking awful. awful! i had just caught a cold, my head was throbbing, my gut was bloated and heaving, i was hardly dressed to the nines at all, more like the threes, i was congested, my hair was ungroomed, hadn't shaved in days, and that was just the beginning. and yet, she kept eyeing me. at first i wasn't sure, but then over the flight i noticed her glances more and more. me? attractive to a barbie? me? doesn't she realize? i'm so confused. near the end of the flight i turn to my sister and whisper if she had noticed the woman checking me out and she exclaims 'yeah!' she thinks it may have something to do with my being with my niece and her liking kids or something. or maybe i'm just hot by midwestern female standards. who knows. but it made me think that maybe i should reinvest in the idea of living in the midwest if i can be a total bum and get hit on by pretty people. although she was a woman.... i wonder if the men would find me the same. if so, boy howdee!