picture it: independence, missouri, fall 1988.

"mom/dad: can i go to nicaragua next summer?"
"no way! what are you thinking? that's a war-torn country. no, foot is down, no."
"can i go to mexico then?"
"well, ok, i guess."

the above was obviously paraphrased, but relates an experience of mine that taught me well: always ask for more than you think you can get.

similarly, ever since we in the gay community have been demanding marriage rights, suddenly every democratic, and many republicans even, politician is for civil unions. just a few years ago, every politician, except for the most liberal democrat, was against even that. howard dean was seen as doomed politically for the rest of his career because he signed the civil unions bill. now, as full, complete equality, not a second-class version, is there for same-sex couples, suddenly civil unions are the 'obvious' way to go. even the christian coalition, the christian coalition!, has said that they can't fight civil unions anymore and they've lost that battle, but marriage, marriage!, is not gonna happen on their watch. well, here we are going down the aisle. and who thought that civil unions would even be de rigueur.

so try the principle yourself. tonight, at dinner, do this:
"can i have your whole dinner?"
"no! what are you talking about?!"
"can i have a french fry?"