so i feel terrible, and yet i feel oh-so-much better at the same time....

you see, the problems i was having last week with depression have definitely subsided now. it's hard to explain, but i can really tell my meds are working now. it's not that i feel the meds themselves, but i feel so much different myself. my mind is motivated; my interests are high; i want to get out and do things; i'm excited about life. it's really hard to explain, but when they work they work, and i'm all the better.

the problem is that i feel terrible physically this week. somehow i've had a running fever for the last couple of days. don't ask me about a temp reading cuz i don't have a thermometer. but i know i have a pretty high fever because i feel awful, my head is throbbing (and not in a normal headache way), my body is hot (take that one however you like), and i'm freezing. freezing! last night my fever broke briefly and i was sweating like crazy, but mostly i've been freezing the last few days. it sucks. and i feel so rundown.

but thanks for my mother and grandmother i had frozen homemade vegetable soup from my grandma's house from my trip back home a few weeks ago. and so i thawed it out today and it made me feel so much better. (props to grandma!)

so i'm just sitting around my house, bored out of my mind, watching bad movies, and sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. my mind is excited and wants to go outside and play but my body won't let me. will i ever be completely whole?