Tuesday, May 31, 2005

so my comment system is still not working

which isn't a big deal since no one really ever comments on my page anymore, probably because i never have much to say

but my recent column actually got a few comments that i thought i'd share and make my own response comment too:

david writes: let's cast off our backpacks of privilege and shame!
cute

victor writes: i understand the reason for the boycott, but what do the boycott-ers want in return? i hear a lot about what wrong was done, but it seems like the boycott has no mission. do they want badlands to close its doors forever? what do they want?
thought-provoking and very good questions

my response to victor's inquiries and similar queries in the community surrounding this issue:

what those being discriminated against wanted to begin with over the last several years was to not be discriminated against or targeted at all in general. that obviously happened.

what these official legal complainants who spoke out wanted a year ago was to have a conversation with the owner of badlands to discuss these problems. the owner steadfastly refused to meet.

what the complainants asked for over 6 months ago was a mediation to discuss the complaints, discriminatory practices, and ways to make the danceclub more inclusive and end the discrmination. the owner steadfastly refused to meet with them and created a PR campaign against them.

what the complainants asked for over several months ago was for the city and state to look into these allegations and help broker a mediation. the city has looked into the allegations and written a long, detailed Finding of Fact. the owner still has not met with them, continually dismissed the city's human rights commission's work and reporting, refused to participate in discussions, and continually missed deadlines for having this appropriately dealt with.

when the complainants finally received a formal written government document which highlighted and described in detail the history of discrimination, they have now created a boycott. now, the owner wants the complainants to 'compromise' and he wants to buy his way out of this problem he created.

the complainants and the individuals and groups who have joined the boycott no longer have an interest in negotiations and discussion. that time is long past over. that may seem harsh, but the owner and his bar have repeatedly over the years discrminated illegally and that should be enough to revoke his liquor and operating licenses. until that revocation finally occurs, the boycott continues to spread the word about the malpractices at this establishment.

Monday, May 30, 2005

newsletter's done for june:

http://www.alicebtoklas.org/abt/newsletter0506.htm

Saturday, May 28, 2005

new column

“Me and My Big Red Backpack—
(p.s. what’s the theme for pride this year?)”

I have a big red backpack. You can’t miss it. It’s with me everywhere. I’ve tried and tried to find ways to leave it at home. But I’m kind of attached to it, “at the shoulder” as it were. Don’t get me wrong, I love the thing. It fits my life so well. I carry my newspapers, magazines, calendar, books, work stuff, Alice stuff, my jacket, and sometimes other clothes. That doesn’t even begin to note the various amounts of sundries, aspirin, glasses, contact lenses, and other such items that make it seem like a small drugstore on my back.

And then, being the happy-go-lucky Gay man that I am, I got me a little extra somethin’ somethin’ in there… cause you never know, just in case. You know what I’m sayin’?

Anyway, the point is, I have a big red backpack and it goes with me everywhere. You can’t miss it.

So when I’m hanging out in the Castro, even if I’m heading out for a night on the town and stepping into the local bars/dance-clubs for a little fun and to get my groove on, my big red bag’s with me. It’s a hassle to have it with me when I’m trying to feel loose and fancy-free, but what you gonna do? I ain’t got no car to put it in and my apartment is across town. So it’s with me all the time.

I’ve never had any trouble from the local Castro establishments though. Not once. In fact, on those occasions when I would take in Badlands for a little dancing, drinks, and eye-gazing, my big red backpack was always with me. I would just show my one ID and walk in. Once in a while I’d check it. But mostly, I’d have it hanging on one-shoulder up against the wall while I tried my best to look attractive and fun for some possible cute boy across the way. Or there were times when I just would sit it next to me on the ledge-for-seating area while watching videos. There were even several times when I would plop the backpack down next to me at the barstool.

I never had a problem with my backpack at Badlands.

Funny thing is, there’s supposedly a “No Bags” policy at Badlands. Well, who would have known? Actually, who would have known are the people that it was selectively used against. Turns out, there was an unwritten rule that used the policy against African-Americans to keep them out of the bar. So while my lily-white-self could walk in easily with my bright red backpack and have not a word said to me upon entering, or the entire time I was there, African-Americans were routinely told that they couldn’t enter the premises (even if they said they were going to check the bag).

Read the following excerpt from the recent Human Rights Commission findings on discrimination against Badlands:

“Several former employees explained that a selectively enforced bag policy was another method used to keep out certain African American customers. They assert that African American patrons were denied entry for carrying a bag while white patrons were allowed to enter… In August 2003, two outreach workers for a community organization conducting surveys outside of SF Badlands witnessed a doorman refusing entry to an African American man because he was carrying a small bag or backpack. The witnesses told the Commission that the African American man protested and pointed out other individuals already inside the bar who were carrying bags or backpacks. Both witnesses stated that they subsequently saw the doorman allow other individuals enter with bags while continuing to deny entry to the African American man. The witnesses explained that the African American man called the police but that the police officer explained there was nothing he could do because of the “No Bags” sign posted in the front window.”

No wonder the Commission found that Badlands “unfairly denied entry to African American individuals through the use of a “No Bag” policy that was rarely enforced against white patrons.”

Now, back to me and my big red backpack. Seems all this time I took it for granted that I could just waltz in Badlands with me and mine, I was living in my white-privilege world. And I didn’t even know it. When you’re a white male, you can get away with a lot of stuff and not even realize you’re getting away with it. Coming to a realization of that and understanding what it means isn’t exactly easy and takes some eye-opening-events.

Alice has joined the Boycott of Badlands. We hope you’ll join us at the Saturday-night protests, but more importantly, we hope you’ll help as individuals in the community too. It’s not just joining a picket line or a protest. It’s one-on-one conversations, particularly during the Pride season. If and when your friends or family members or out-of-town guests say they’re going to Badlands, tell them why that’s no longer a good place to go. If you’re in the Chat Rooms online and talking with guys who are coming to San Francisco for Pride, let them in on why they should skip Badlands. If you’re meeting up with friends in the Castro to go out, make sure to mention that you don’t go to Badlands because they discriminate.

This year’s official Pride theme is “Stand Up; Stand Out; Stand Proud.” Let’s add to that by forming our own mantra: “Stand Up for Equality; Stand Out for Justice; Stand Proud for Our Community.” Let’s make sure Badlands and everyone else in San Francisco, and particularly those coming for Pride from out of town, understand that we won’t tolerate discrimination within our community.

Me and my big red backpack ask that you join us in spreading the word.

Friday, May 27, 2005


Everything's a press conference.

i've been feeling so introverted and quiet all week for some reason.

today, finally, i think i've snapped out of it

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Representative Senfronia Thompson of Houston:

"Members, this bill is about hate and fear and discrimination... When I was a small girl, white folks used to talk about 'protecting the institution of marriage' as well. What they meant was if people of my color tried to marry people of Mr. Chisum's color, you'd often find the people of my color hanging from a tree... Fifty years ago, white folks thought interracial marriages were 'a threat to the institution of marriage.'

"Members, I'm a Christian and a proud Christian. I read the good book and do my best to live by it. I have never read the verse where it says, 'Gay people can't marry.' I have never read the verse where it says, 'Thou shalt discriminate against those not like me.' I have never read the verse where it says, 'Let's base our public policy on hate and fear and discrimination.' Christianity to me is love and hope and faith and forgiveness -- not hate and discrimination.

"I have served in this body a lot of years, and I have seen a lot of promises broken... So... now that blacks and women have equal rights, you turn your hatred to homosexuals, and you still use your misguided reading of the Bible to justify your hatred. You want to pass this ridiculous amendment so you can go home and brag -- brag about what? Declare that you saved the people of Texas from what?...

"I have listened to the arguments. I have listened to all of the crap... I want you to know that this amendment [is] blowing smoke to fuel the hell-fire flames of bigotry."

Saturday, May 21, 2005

it's been an incredibly beautiful day

and the evening is still young

Friday, May 20, 2005


my niece, Mariah. 11 years old.
note the earring. her first piercing. she was very excited.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

i'm ready

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

oh, and sorry about the lack of posts. i'm often thinking of things to say, but i'm so busy with my 4-5 jobs right now i just never seem to have any time to get around to it. but i'm still here and love you very much. yes, you, you there, i love you, very much. you.

i had the best time last night

first of all, you know that i hate parties, shindigs, get-togethers, socials, and all those sorts. i really just don't like hanging out with a bunch of people. i prefer more quiet settings with just me alone, or maybe one or two other people.

that said, i'm trying to be more out there. my coworker Larry and i have been talking for the last year about doing more within the glbt latino community because we want to practice our spanish and he has a lot of connections in the community as a gay latino. anyway, we finally got together last night and went to a very fun party celebrating the 10-year anniversary of a group's program that he's been involved in for a number of years. the group is called Aguilas. there were a hundred or so people in this fancy middle eastern restaurant/bar in the mission called Medjool. the food and atmosphere was wonderful and definitely a fun place to hang out. the people were so much fun too. and i even won a silent auction bid in which i bid only $25 for a $50 gift certificate to a clothing store. half-off!

anyway, the point once again is that i had fun, out, with hundreds of people, so strange. and i'm looking forward to going to more events with Larry in the future.

Nine years ago, Hillary Goodridge recalls, when their daughter Annie was born, she was not allowed to see her or her biological mother, Julie Goodridge, because she was not legally related to them. The Goodridges became lead plaintiffs in the lawsuit that led to same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.

Last summer, when Hillary Goodridge wound up in a hospital after a broom handle hit her in the face as she tried to extract one of Annie's toys from a tree, a nurse asked whether Hillary's husband was in the waiting room.

"I said, 'SHE' is in the waiting room," Hillary Goodridge told the Associated Press. "He smiled and said, 'Of course. Would she like to come in?' And then I knew I wouldn't have to worry."

Monday, May 16, 2005

"Why is it," asked a wincing Olivia Halley of Hollister as a gray-haired man wearing nothing but sneakers jogged up Howard Street, "that the people you see naked in the street are never the people you really want to see naked?"

Sunday, May 15, 2005

well, after a season with some sadly misfired episodes, the simpsons ends with greatness once again. there were moments this season that i felt like the show was dying. but it happily came back strong the last two weeks with some very good episodes. i, as always, look forward to the next season this fall...

i've cleaned my house!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

life
busy
now

Sunday, May 08, 2005

so much for Bush's much ballyhooed prescription drug proposal helping with seniors' monthly costs...
"You may qualify for extra help paying for your Medicare prescription drug costs." But it adds, "If you qualify for extra help, your food stamp benefits may decline."

ah, yes, conservatives never, ever have rallies or demonstrations, ever. and let's see, since they are the powerbrokers in the country and have all the rights that the 'minorities' lack, what exactly would they demonstrate for anyway? except to demonstate their power and privilege and to showcase why the minority populations are wrong and deserving of minority status.
"How many demonstrations have we had in the United States for women, lesbians, blacks -- minority demonstrations, right?" the San Antonio man asks from behind a windshield with a "Liberal Hunting Permit" sticker. "Never have you had the white, right wing say 'I've had it.' This is the first demonstration for the country since the Boston Tea Party."
the fight for equal rights is something those who have all the rights and power have little ability to understand

If you make a film that doesn't have graphically filmed sex films, car chases or special effects, and the two principal actors are old ladies, the financiers think, 'OK, what guarantees have you got?'

Friday, May 06, 2005

cinco seis cinco

doesn't have the same ring to it, but it's still a day to enjoy

Thursday, May 05, 2005

in honor of cinco cinco cinco we should do everything five times today
for instance, if you buy a sandwich, buy five sandwiches
if you get a drink, have five rounds
if you hug your cat, hug her five times!

you get the idea

cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco
cinco cinco cinco

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

a Gay man's guide to the recent horror, the horror-movie, 'amityville horror,' which as i said was a complete horror, as a film:


Let’s just break it down to what you need to know:

1. Yes, this is a visually flashy, mediocre remake of the classic 1979 spine-tingler.
2. Lots of bad things happen: Blood runs from the wall, and the fly/priest scene is intact.
3. Melissa George is a capable actor, who cries a lot and does it well.
4. Ryan Reynolds is half-naked in several scenes, in which the camera lingers lovingly over his torso.
5. In one such scene, Reynolds is wet and only wearing pajama bottoms, and you don’t care that he’s going crazy.
6. In another scene, Reynolds takes a bath, and unfortunately it’s more about a creepy occurrence than him being naked.
7. Even when completely crazy and wearing bloodshot-eye contacts, Reynolds is hot, and guarantees you’ll see a lot more gay men sporting beards come next fall.
8. Whether such half-naked scenes are worth your $10 depends on how bored and lonely you feel.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


What's goin' on over there?

Monday, May 02, 2005

very busy this weekend/week putting together the latest newsletter for my club alice. finally, it's done:

may alice newsletter