Wednesday, July 30, 2003

GAY LIFE

We have a right-wing Republican acting as president and he's opposed to Gay marriage? I'm shocked! Just shocked!

Whatddya wanna bet that there's a vote in Congress on Gay marriage sometime before next year's elections and that we are once again used as a wedge issue? Place your bets.

UPDATE: further proof we'll once again be an electoral wedge issue (coming soon to an election near you): Bush has now decided to join the Republican herd and will probably sign on to an anti-gay-marriage constitutional amendment, figuring that it's a great wedge issue, especially if Democrats nominate Howard Dean.

Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif.,... derided the Pentagon's description of the current fighting in Iraq as "low-intensity conflict." "I want you to know when your kid dies, it's not a low-intensity conflict," she said. Sen. Russell Feingold, D-Wis., attacked Wolfowitz over his statement that "the battle to secure the peace in Iraq is now the central battle of the global war on terror. "This administration has grossly exaggerated the connection between the war on terrorism and the Iraq situation," Feingold said. He said that on the same day that U.S. troops moved into Baghdad in April, men suspected of being responsible for the attack on the U.S. destroyer Cole in 2000 were escaping from a prison in Yemen.

My dear sweet friend Woodja sent me a care package today filled with the movie, and CD, of Isle of Lesbos. As I mentioned previously, I saw it with him and our friend Elizabeth one late night during its only showing at the Washington, DC Gay & Lesbian Film Festival back on October 17, 1997 (I had it written down in my calendar from that year). None of the three of us have ever been able to find it anywhere since. And all three of us have looked everywhere over the years. Finally, I ran across it on the web and Woodja went about buying each of the three of us a copy. Isn't that nice of him? Now if only the three of us had a way to watch it together. Problem is, nowadays, I'm here in San Francisco, he's in Florida, and Elizabeth is in DC. We may just have to have a three-way conference call to do it. I love my friends!

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Most major issues that come before voters do so with a pre-vote timeline that is easily determined and well-known. This provides both supporters and opponents the opportunity to plan out the months prior to the vote with speeches, rallies, educational mailings and editorial endorsements, newspaper updates, tv/radio spots, and the like. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for both sides of the issue on the ballot related to racial issues now that it suddenly will be in front of voters within 2 months, instead of the 7 months everyone had been planning. Both sides must now be in a panic. The opponents of newly numbered Proposition 54 have only just put up a website (and it looks like it was just put up). Incredible. What kind of crazy political climate is all of this?

Now let me address the meat of the subject. It may seem simple and easy to say that we are or must become a "color-blind" society. The first problem is that we are not. The second, and most important problem, is that when we talk about race/ethnicity/background/orientation/gender/etc. there is an important difference in the verbage used and ideas behind fighting for equal treatment and saying things like "we are all the same." That difference is the social aspect. Biologically we're all pretty much the same. Socially, HOWEVER, we all grow up in different worlds-- often based in part upon our race/ethnicity/background/orientation/gender/etc. Those different social worlds effect our chances for education, health care, opportunities, as well as our likelihood for diseases, peer pressures, drug abuse, etc. This doesn't mean to say that anyone's race/etc. is "better" or "suited" for a specific direction. This doesn't mean to say that anyone's race/etc. defines who they are or will be. This does, however, mean to say that there are trends and patterns, based on sociological factors (not physical ones), that can show up among groups. These trends and patterns can then be analyzed. And it's imperative that we analyze these sociological phenomena in order to make our government and public policy work properly.

Let me give you an example. Say, for instance, that we have studied a public health disease (like tuberculosis) and we recognize that the majority of cases for tuberculosis are occuring within the Chinese-American community (just as an example; not based on any data necessarily). This doesn't mean to say that Chinese people are more likely to get tuberculosis, or that based on genetics that they will definitely get TB. This means to say that within the Chinese-American community there is a higher rate for tuberculosis among certain social areas wherein they live. What this information tells us is incredibly important in fighting tuberculosis because then public health officials can specifically target education/information campaigns within the Chinese-American community, print TB-testing information in Chinese, hire Chinese-speaking nurses and outreach workers, and so forth all in the strategic and important fight against a disease that has the possibility of spreading throughout the population. If we are able to address one community's specific concern-- we are all better for it.

Let me give you another example. Say, for instance, we collect data on the number of traffic tickets police officers are giving motorists and find out that, based upon population statistics, there is a much-greater possibility that a ticket will be handed out to an African-American motorist than a White motorist. Does this mean to say that black drivers are worse than white ones? Or does this tell us that police officers may be specifically targeting black neighborhoods or black motorists and not targeting white neighborhoods or perhaps letting white people "get away with it this time with a warning." (Again, this is just an example.) If we collect information, scientific data, along these lines we are able to address an issue that a community feels anecdotally but can't prove. If we find out that the anecdotes give way to a statistical issue, then we can learn from that and address those concerns within the public policy context-- strategic meetings with police officers and community groups, neighborhood watches/patrols, etc.

Proposition 54 will end all collection of data on race/etc. within the state. If we can't know what is happening, how can we address the needs of our populations? Again, humans are the same physically. But we can be and are positively different in many ways. Our diversity is a good thing and is so powerful and useful in making our country great. Difference among populations and peoples provides further opportunities to grow and learn and see. Otherwise we'd all end up being stepford wives or pods from the body snatchers. We thrive on difference.

Our fight for equality and equal rights is not about destroying difference. Our fight for equality and equal rights is about recognizing and honoring everyone's fundamental humanity, our physical similarity, and our individual uniqueness while at the same time accepting and respecting our social differences.

Proposition 54 will rob us of that equality. Proposition 54 will damage our public health, our safety, our education, our communities. Proposition 54 must be defeated on October 7, 2003.

Dude, Fox is making racism infectious and cool.
(I happened to catch "Banzai" briefly after the Simpsons on Sunday night and just sat there with my jaw dropping the whole time, nodding my head down, and thinking that this can't be 2003.)

It adds a moral imperative to get out and vote that [We] (initiative opponents) would not have had on [just] the recall.

GAY LIFE

I gotta go out and get me a copy of the latest Brides Magazine.

(It would seem that I have stirred up someone enough to put a copy of his entire newsletter on my comment page. I thought about erasing his comment, especially as it is full of junk "science" that is not based on reality, but I figure it's a good reminder for my readers of the hatred and misguidance that some in our society continued to espouse. Saying that, I do request that individuals commenting in the comment section to keep it short and to the point and respect others-- no name-calling, etc.. If you wish to send me long newsletters asking me to repent supposed sins or whatnot, feel free to email me-- leave my readers out of it. P.S. The "doctors" and "studies" that "i Johnson" refers to in his diatribe have been discounted over and over again in the medical and scientific community as faux research and faux science. These were not studies done scientifically. That's a fact.)

By any measure, Bush has the worst environmental record of any president...-- San Francisco Chronicle

So I had another appointment with the doctor yesterday about my leg pain. Ugh. They've been hurting really bad lately-- really bad. When it flares up, it's like this intense sharp pain and it's almost debilitating. Pretty scary. I've been worried it might be arthritis or something terrible like that-- or who knows. Well, happily, the doctor ruled out arthritis yesterday, as well as many other things he could think of that might be causing it. He's still thinking it's just a temporary virus and that it should leave my body soon as I get more rest. He gave me more anti-imflammation drugs to help ease the pain and it does help. And I'm definitely glad to hear that it doesn't seem to be anything major, but I'm still worried about it. So then I'm on the bus yesterday and I hear someone talking about acupuncture and it hits me that I should go. What a perfect reason! I had gone a couple of years ago for a trial and it was ok, but I wasn't there for a specific pain. Anyway, so I called up the acupuncturist yesterday and scheduled an appointment for tonight. I really hope this helps. Right now, the pain is not bad cuz of the meds, but I hope to cure the root of whatever problem there is tonight. Wish me luck.

Monday, July 28, 2003

There are no words. Unbelievable. Will Muslims soon be forced to battle lions in the American Coliseum?

Can you imagine if another country set up a betting parlor so that people could go in ... and bet on the assassination of an American political figure, or the overthrow of this institution or that institution?

The idea of a federal betting parlor on atrocities and terrorism is ridiculous and it's grotesque.

If a sugar daddy like Rep. Darrell Issa can be found to pay the bills, nearly anyone is fair game for paid signature- gatherers, the new foot soldiers in California politics. Money rules as never before.

...these tools [initiatives and recalls] were not designed to substitute for governing, they were developed to protect against abuses... And if groups and partisan interests can afford to put their particular initiative on the ballot, then why not use the same process as a partisan weapon to go after unpopular political leaders regardless of when they were elected? The current recall effort is in many ways the culmination of direct democracy run amok. The only way to avoid runaway initiatives and recalls is for the elected leaders and the voters to recognize their common responsibility to effective self-government.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

Sound advice from Nathan. Again, I haven't made my decision about the Democratic presidential primary yet, but I'm thinking along the same lines as Nathan:
I’d rather choose someone who campaigns like a pragmatist but has a longer history of being progressive than someone that talks progressive at campaign time but has frequently blocked liberal causes.

"Fox News--- We Decide, You Concur"

What will be on the ballot will not just be Gray Davis... but also respect for the orderly processes of government which have kept this country stable for over two centuries now.-- Senator Joe Lieberman (who would be Vice President right now if all the votes had been counted in Florida in 2000)

Faux pas: "a breach of etiquette or of social convention; bungle, misstep, howler"

Coupla days ago I ran across an old coffee traveling cup in my cupboard. I had forgotten I had bought it when I first moved into the neighborhood. It's from my regular coffeeshop, Cup-A-Joe, around the corner. If I take it and use it I only have to pay the refill price. Since I've been unemployed, I drink coffee there everyday. And I think to myself that I should be using the cup. Great idea.

This morning I wake up early, very early, and decide to go out and read the paper at the coffeeshop. I decide to take my cup. Problem is the coffeeshop is late opening (opens at 7am and it was 7:15am). So I decide to head down the block to a different coffeeshop. Obviously, I am carrying around a coffee cup from their rival's store, but I think it's not too big a deal. So now I'm at Bianca's Coffeehouse.

Little later in the morning, as I'm reading the paper, my new friend Ellen (different Ellen than the one I mentioned the other day) shows up. Uh oh. I remember that Ellen is dating Bianca--- the, um, owner of Bianca's! Uh oh. I'm sitting at their coffeeshop with my Cup-A-Joe coffee cup and there's nothing I can do.

Ellen's asked me to come over to Bianca's before on the weekends and have coffee with them since she realized I lived in the neighborhood. I've told Ellen before that I usually go to Cup-A-Joe cuz it's right around the corner from me, but I've been telling her I should come down to their coffeeshop more often. Now I run into her. And then Bianca shows up. And then more of their friends come by and they end up having morning breakfast and coffee right next to me. All the while I have a rival's coffee cup on my table. Ugh. They don't mention it, but I know the notice it. Ugh. And I like them too. They're way cool people and they're Gay, unlike the people at Cup-A-Joe. I feel like a traitor--- a terrible, terrible traitor. The one day I've even taken the cup out of my cupboard and all this happens. Ugh. Not a good thing. This is one more reason why I should never clean my house.

Saturday, July 26, 2003

AIDS/HIV

A terrific piece in the Chronicle today, hidden away in the second section, on the 20th anniversary of the San Francisco General Hospital's AIDS Ward. Fits in nicely with the rest of their amazing pieces during their series, AIDS at 20, they had two years ago. Here's some striking quotes from today's article:

For all the friends I've lost, I've also gained.... I've got a book full of mothers I've met. We stay connected. I'm so sorry they've lost their sons. There are such beautiful women I've come to know....

We really lived through a very heavy time. It was almost like a war, losing so many young, otherwise healthy men...

Ward 5B also broke new ground in gay rights. Until then, Morrison explained, it was common practice for hospitals to exclude all but spouses and next-of- kin from visiting critically ill patients. "Gay partners were not recognized as such," he recalled. "We changed that. We redefined what a 'family' was."

I have a commitment to life. I cannot turn off the life force.

Great Women of the World Week

First, Leslie, that great Woman of the World, had her break from her Kenyan Peace Corps Assignment extended and is staying in town through next week. So, on Thursday, we got to have lunch in Japantown and see "Charlie's Angels 2" together. (Historical note: Leslie and I saw the first one together on opening day back in November 2000 as a way to get away from our overwhelming and stressful work on the local campaigns we were working on for that upcoming Tuesday-- which turned out to be, you know, the all-famous Bush/Gore election day.) Leslie and I had so much fun. It was so great to hang out with her again. (And I wore my Senator Barbara Boxer t-shirt to be a pro-woman activist while I was with her.)

Next, Ellen (Historical note: She's from Kansas City but lives here in SF now too. She took over my position at Planned Parenthood of Kansas City back in 1994 as I left Kansas City for new chapters in my life.). She and I had dim sum in Chinatown today and then went to see Greenpeace's ship which is currently docked in San Francisco Bay. It was pretty cool getting a guided tour around the ship and hearing about their work around the world to stridently vocalize environmental destruction. After SF, they're on their way up to Alaska to do what they can to help preserve the Tongass National Forest area, which the Bush Administration is trying to destroy, as part of Greenpeace's Endangered Forests, Endangered Freedoms campaign. Along the tour, guided by cooky hippie shipmates from around the world, we heard about how the boat operates, where it goes, as well as their member's political views on the descration of the environment. Political views on the Greenpeace boat? I was shocked. Ha. (And I wore my old "Choice Choice Choice Choice" t-shirt to be an activist with Ellen again.)

Leslie, Ellen, Charlie's Angels, Hippie Greenpeace Women, Pro-Women Shirts, Me. All the Women, Independent...

Flag "desecration." I thought Republicans were against that.

"Look, Ma!" Anyone of these "candidates" could become the next governor. It's that anarchic.

So I really spoke too soon the other day when I said that I was feeling better. I mean, I was then and I haven't been so dizzy or tired this week. But the pain is definitely back. The last couple of days it's mostly congregated around my right lower leg and ankle. Looks like I'm headed back to the doctor again Monday. This so sucks! :-(

P.S. Let me also bless one important word: COBRA. Not to be confused with the bad guys of G.I.Joe, but the federal plan that extends your health insurance to the recently unemployed. Thank you COBRA. (By the way, the Baroness was my favorite Cobra bad guy cuz she was so cool. I mean, she was awesome. ["Destro, darlink, I am goink to destroy G.I.Joe and then we will rule the world!"] Just in case you were wonderin.)

The Cheney Energy Task Force was formed and met right after the inauguration at the beginning of 2001--- long before September 11th, the Iraq war and Iraq's "imminent" threat, and the war on terrorism. So why were maps of Iraq part of the documents found in the Task Force's secret materials?

Fake news

Friday, July 25, 2003

The biggest burden of this stupid recall election is coming down on the localities throughout the state. Think of what all this money could actually be used for in the public good and then think what a waste. Stupid.

About a month ago or so a friend sent me an invitation to join something called "Friendster" and to be his "friend." Well, I am his friend and the site seemed kinda cool and looked like an opportunity for Gay men to meet each other. So I put together a quick bio, joined up (it was free), and finished the link to him. Next thing I know all of my "friends" were joining and linking to me and to others and it became insane. And then I realized that it was out in the straight world and it wasn't even a Gay male network at all. Little did I know. Anyway, I think that it has a basic usefulness, but there are problems with the concept, especially the lack of availability for instant messaging or connection in some way, other than random emails to people who may or may not reject you as a "friend." I haven't really used the site since I first got on cuz I'm not sure what to do with it. But it does seem to be the current flavor/fad of the month.
Baboons may settle questions of social dominance by displaying their buttocks... humans have created an online hierarchy based on the number of people they may claim as acquaintances.
By August, Friendster will start charging users to contact people they don't know directly.... But just as quickly as people have joined Friendster, they could leave, some users say. The value of the site lies in how many friends it can attract and keep.

GAY LIFE

We're moving forward. And the public is coming with us.

I can't find anything! I've been searching my filing boxes all day--- my old, old, old paper files from when I crossed the country and moved here exactly 4 years ago this month (woohoo! happy anniversary to me)--- and can't find my list of contacts from back then that I know I have somewhere. Ugh!

And then I run across this:

A sealed card, never sent, with simply the name "Jack" on the front (Jack was my boyfriend years ago). I break the seal, pull out the card with a picture of flowers on it, and read my love-filled and yet heart-broken writing:

8/10/97
Jack,
It's been a year. Wow... How wonderful.
I love you.
Happy Anniversary.
Reese


I never gave him that card because we broke up on our anniversary and I was angry and sad and devastated and hurt and broken and couldn't give it to him. And what was the point then?

What's the point now?

Jeff had a great idea. I'm only thinking of the children.

Stealing this amazing quote from Kevin's website: President Bush made a comment a week ago, and he said, 'bring it on.' They brought it on and now my nephew is dead."

New relationships are like a shiny new toy. You don't look at the whole thing. All you're thinking is, "OH COOL!! It's shiney and new! WHOA! It even has a corkscrew, cool!". You don't check to see how much it is until you've gotten to the counter. And that's when you find out you really need to put it back on the shelf.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Leave it to me to get MAD about something at the last minute. But, well, that's how I am. I'm usually extremely calm through crises, which is a plus, but then get MAD later when it's too late to vent. Well, now I'm PO'ed. And the thing is I don't even like Governor Gray Davis. He's an idiot! He's a jerk! He's shallow and self-absorbed and to some extent he brought this whole recall election on himself by being such a jerk.

But here's the difference between pipe dream scenarios of wishful thinking and anarchic madness unfit for a democracy: We have a system, a political and democratic process system, in this country whereby things are not done randomly, anarchically, unsoundly, stupidly. We have a system that allows for contemplation, explanation, understanding, thorough debate and so forth. We have a system that provides for regular elections to occur, and those elections are generally followed by what occurs in them. We don't have a crazy system of made-up last-minute decisions whereby some random person is selected in the 11th hour to suddenly run a public entity, especially as big as a state-- the fifth largest economy in the world!

So now, what do we have going on? We have a scenario whereby there is now an election in two months that no one is prepared for. No one. County election officials who run elections suddenly have to put together precincts, voting machines, voting officials (of which I'm one and who knows what I'll be doing), and printing cards that no one knows what will even say yet. And to top it off, there may or may not be additional voting issues on this special ballot. (Is this true? This is the first I've heard about other issues on this special ballot. But if it is the case then I am even more MAD. This is an incredibly important policy matter not to be handled lightly and which I am adamantly opposed to and now suddenly it may be on the ballot in two months when no one even knows about it!?! What the hell is that? This was supposed to be on the March 2004 ballot.)

So who the hell knows what's going on? No one. No one. And the only winners in this scenario are the anarchists and the right-wing Republicans. Because it's all just destroying the state. Do you think that this makes us look good to Wall Street? Do you think we could get state loans after this? Do you think the federal government isn't laughing at us? So who's benefitting from this? Right-wing Republicans who want to destroy democracy. And I can't help but feel this is a continued piece of the same pie that's been going on for the last ten years since Clinton became president and they couldn't deal with that. First we had the government shutdown of 1995. Then we had special investigation after special investigation wasting trillions of dollars for nothing that came to nothing. Then we have a complete shutdown of the judicial system because the Republicans REFUSE to acknowledge the win by a Democrat and won't even move forward on his judicial nominations for years, completely shutting the system down. Then we had impeachment that nearly drove the country off the brink. Then we had a presidential election decided by the Supreme Court. Then we had an election where anyone not Republican was considered a traitor and in support of Osama bin Laden and not a patriot, even if they had previously served with distinction in previous battles on behalf of America and their opponents were draft dodgers. Then we had a preemptive war against another country for some shoddy reasons that still aren't clear. Then we have federal "national security" officials tracking down opposing party members around the country for partisan ends. Then and now we have a fake recall election against the largest state's governor. All of these were based upon Republicans sticking it to Democrats anyway they can to get their objective in the partisan wars over government. And what's next? When is the American public going to wake up and see that our democracy is being hijacked by right-wing crazy people who want nothing less than total control and total anarchy?

So now, here we are, with a special election no one is ready for, no one knows what will be included, and no one can say what will happen next. Welcome to anarchic, insane, stupid, anti-public policy, anti-America, anti-people, right-wing Republican America.

Foreign policy isn't a John Wayne movie, where we catch the bad guys, hoist a few cold ones and then everything fades to black... No matter the surge of momentary machismo -- as gratifying as it may be for some -- it is shortsighted and wrong to simply go it alone

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

GAY LIFE

This! This! This!, people, This! is exactly how we got the Supreme Court to reverse course after 17 years and why we won in Lawrence v. Texas last month. As I wrote in the days after the decision, I firmly believe it is because of US and our willingness and insistence on simply being open about our lives, making the political and personal one in the same, that we have changed the hearts and minds of Americans. The reason I point out this column most particularly is not necessarily just because it's about a family member changing a person's tune (which is my main point), but most importantly here because this is a rather conservative columnist who writes often right-wing crap. I always dread his columns in the paper because they usually promote the opposite of what I believe. But today, I sat there in the coffeeshop, screaming in my head thinking how amazingly wonderful it is that We, We Gay People, can make such an impact even on conservatives just by being ourselves and being family and speaking up and claiming our family as our own too. So, again, here's to Us. And keep on keepin on!

More random goodness from Justin: God, Bart Simpson has the hottest ass. ;-)
Well, Junior Year is almost here.... Fun. Fun. You know, I always feel so self-conscious registering. I feel like everyone is watching me. I think I have a social anxiety problem. Give me pills.

Here's another cute Gay boy with my name. Hmm...

Can someone remind me why killing people is a good thing? Shouldn't we be taking people to trial and then imprisonment for war crimes or human abuses or whatnot? Why are we so happy with death?

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

GAY LIFE

I couldn't agree more with the statements below:
One reason gay and lesbian people have been able to endure hundreds of years of inequality in this country is because we have always known how to have fun amid the fracas.... In the ongoing sex wars—and trust me, they are far from over—our sense of humor has always been our secret weapon, one that the other side has always lacked.

I am feeling SOOO much better today. Either the meds are working or the virus is weakening or something. I feel like I've woken up from a week of sleep or something. Woohoo!

Well, since being unemployed, I've sorta created a list in my head of things that I won't let myself buy until I have a new job. Believe me, creating this list and not buying them immediately is one of the biggest motivating factors for my job search. Cuz I want them bad! So here's a small list that gets added to constantly:

1) Buffy's Fourth Season. I already have the first three and I really loved the 4th season, so not having it is driving me nuts.
2) Charlie's Angels' complete first season. Need I say more?
3) Simpsons' third season comes out next month. Must have job by then so I can buy it. Must.
4) Isle of Lesbos movie and CD special offer. Must have. Years ago, a late night movie seen with friends Woodja and Elizabeth during the Washington, DC Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, created a need for finding this little, tiny movie. Years have passed and no luck in finding. Until now. And I won't let myself buy it until I'm employed. Ugh.
5) Annie Lennox 'Bare'. I've waited ten years for her next solo album of new material and now I won't let myself buy it. This is probably the biggest reason I'm looking for a job right now. I'm so lonely without Annie.
6) Linkin Park's 'Meteora'. I loved the first album. I'm dying to have the second one.
7) 8 Women. One of the main reasons I got a DVD player in the first place.
8) Aliens. I didn't realize it was even out on DVD. Now I know and I want it badly. (Or will there be a special new version soon?
9) Several movies I have on VHS, but not on DVD yet: Mulan, Emperor's New Groove, What's Up Doc?, Addams Family Values, etc.
10) Whole new wardrobe. Jessie, Chris, and others with taste will help me pick out. Fun for the whole family. Coming soon.
11) That trip to Mexico for immersion is still in my head, but trying to stay around right now in case something comes up. Unsure what to do about that.

So there you have it, my current list of necessities that I won't let myself buy until employment happens. It hurts most when I think about it. I smile, but the crying is on the inside.

Monday, July 21, 2003

The most disturbing piece of this whole investigation is that these results are from the internal affairs division of the Justice Department itself! This isn't even an outside group or opposing parties with concerns. This is an internal investigation. Which raises the question: how much worse is the reality underneath? This report shows that we have only begun to scratch the surface with respect to the Justice Department's disregard of constitutional rights and civil liberties.... This report shows there are more victims of John Ashcroft's war on the constitution. The Attorney General appears on television nearly every week claiming to protect us, while he simultaneously dismantles our civil liberties and civil rights. Will the Justice Department ever admit that it has gone too far?

What a wild and rich life.

...is the Democratic party desperate to be in love with somebody? I think they're desperate to be in love.

So as I mentioned here and here I've been unwell physically lately. It's a strange illness in that I don't feel sick per se. My leg bones have been hurting and getting worse every day. I've been incredibly dizzy. And I've been exhausted.
So I went back to the doctor's again today and he said that he still thinks it's just a virus and that it will go away soon. My blood work came back fine and he checked me over again. He said he checked for rheumatoid arthritis (!), among other things too, and it was negative. So that's definitely good. He gave me some medication which is supposed to help keep the pain down, but who knows. Who's heard of a "virus" that makes your bones hurt, but no stomach upset or congestion problems? So weird. I just hope I start feeling better again soon. It's BORING being tired and sick all the time. And the pain is definitely NOT fun.

GAY LIFE

What are the statistical odds of going out on a date with someone with the same name as yours? Obviously the odds are higher if you're going on a date with the same sex. But, what are those odds if your name is, say, something rare, like, maybe "Reese"? Pretty low odds, right? One would think so.

At least he has a sense of humor. "I know this is kind of late, but: Sorry."--
Tony Blair, British prime minister, on the 1814 burning of Library of Congress books by British troops.

"[Democrats] and independents like CNN, Penn says, not Fox. They also like the West Wing and the Simpsons, good targets for ad dollars." We Democrats like the Simpsons? Could it be? Ha.

Sunday, July 20, 2003

...the world's sole superpower risks stumbling onwards half-blind, unable to distinguish real threats from phantoms. (link from Justin)

Who's defining misled?

Friday, July 18, 2003

GAY LIFE

Bathrooms.
Can't we all just get along?
In Gay life, unisex bathrooms just seem so much more appropriate. I mean, I don't care what women look like and I'm sure they don't care about me. We're not after each other. However, I recognize that we live in a straight society and that men are mostly letches. Also, women deserve some time away from men-- to have their own safe space. But I want a get-outta-straight-male-world free card. Gay people should be able to use either bathroom. This is our next principled movement, people. This is our next fight for equality and freedom. Actually, this falls into the category of "special rights," but We deserve specialties now and then, don't We? I mean, especially with all the crap and discrimination and evils we have to put up with all the time. You know?

This evening I'm at a favorite coffee house of mine. I get up and go to the restroom area and head into the men's room. Now, unfortunately, the men's room has been taken over by some guy who looks like he will probably be in there for hours. Right next door is the empty women's room. I'm Gay. Why can't I use it? And I really, really have to use something soon.

So I knock on the door, open the door slowly, and then quickly step inside one of the two stalls. Everything's so pink in here! I'm Gay; I like pink; I fit perfectly; What could be wrong with this? Then all of the sudden a Mom and her young child come in. Great, of all the times for me to be in a women's restroom, a Mom has to walk in. I live in San Francisco-- why can't I have a lesbian walk in? Well, they go into the other stall and I'm hoping and praying they won't notice me. I try and hurry and finish up and then quickly, quickly, quickly rush out the door and enter the men's room to wash my hands as if nothing had happened.

See people, nothing terrible. No problems for anyone. I'm a man and I used the women's room. It's OK. The world didn't end. Gay people have known this is acceptable for years since all of our dance clubs pretty much have unisex bathrooms anyway. I mean, no sign with a woman's symbol is going to stop a Drag Queen from not making an entrance into said room. And then, Gay dance clubs are mostly male anyway, so the bathrooms both end up having long lines of guys outside.

So it's all fine. Everything is fine. Except that We should now push for unisex bathrooms throughout San Francisco and the nation. At least for Gay people. Cuz We deserve it. Cuz We're fabulous. And We're special. :-)

More than one ending for "28 Days Later." Interesting.

WITH ALL the Bush administration has on its plate -- the aftermath in Iraq, Israeli-Palestinian discord, homeland security, economic woes -- one might think it has no time to pick on doctors who prescribe medical marijuana. Yet the administration continues to escalate its war on medical marijuana -- and Proposition 215 in particular -- by intimidating physicians who are doing what they think is best for their patients.

What's the Cost of War?

So I happen to be flippin the dial late last night and flip past David Letterman, which unlike many, I don't find very interesting. I wouldn't have stopped to watch except I recognized his guest as Ari Fleischer, Bush's recent Press Secretary and I brace for the worst. And it's bad. Letterman is giving Fleischer softball questions, made for a mass audience I guess, about the whole Iraq thing and he and the audience end up applauding wildly as to Bush leading us into war. And then he says that New York is "Bush Country." Gag and DoubleGag. I hate the media.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

So, as I was mentioning before, I went out and rented "They Live" tonight. Quite a bad movie, but I love the concept and all the jabs against Reagan and the conservatives. It was very thinly veiled. Very thinly veiled-- I mean, at one point they had a Reaganesque alien talking to his audience using references to "morning in America" and other stuff from his speeches, and then they even referred to the aliens as "free enterprisers." I guess this movie was trying to target the "joe-sixpack" crowd with its use of wrestlers for the main characters and the fact that much of the movie was wrestling, fighting, and shoot-em-up scenes. So they must have decided to go for the most direct and easiest of allegorical references. Still, it was fun even though meandering, boring, unscary, base, and banal. I can finally say I've seen it now.

GAY LIFE

It was interesting to see rank bigotry against gays trying to disguise itself as a legal argument.

Passing the buck.

I'm so very dizzy today. I mean, it's very odd.
Update: Still dizzy. Been dizzy most of the day. It's rather strange being dizzy-- the sense of the world constantly unbalanced. Tonight my head is hurting like mad and my head is spinning, but otherwise I'm pretty much ok. What kind of strange virus is this? And how do I get rid of it?

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

President Clinton was impeached for seven words he should never have uttered: "I never had sex with that woman." What price will... Bush have to pay for his sixteen-word scam?

Ha!

Sick Sick Sick! (Thanks to my sister for the link.) What is wrong with people?!

So I went to the doctor today cuz my hurting knee had grown beyond and now it was hurting legs and arms. It's hard to explain but my bones were aching terribly last night, all over. And I felt dizzy. And then today I was weak and tired and achy.
So the doctor said that they've actually seen a lot of similar cases recently in the City and that it's a weird virus going around. They're checking my blood work for safety sake, but they said others' blood works turned out fine and that others' symptoms disappeared after a few days. He felt that I should be fine soon. Talk about strange viruses.

My brother and I were close to giving up, but my Mom told me that we had a chance now. See we had just gotten Bea Arthur and Aerosmith's Steve Tyler and Joe Perry on our side now. For some reason Bea had a broken finger in a splint. Anyway, we just needed to get these three to call their friends on the other side of George W. Bush's army (which included my old childhood friend Nick) so that we could ambush him on both sides. It would be a surprise since they thought they already won. All of the sudden this monster from Bush's army comes after me on all fours and I prepare to fight. I kick his head really hard and it flies off into the distance.

Then I realize I just kicked my cat while she was sleeping on the bed with me. Poor Amaya. I felt terrible.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Republicans were popping champagne corks. Words such as “landslide” not only passed their lips but actually found their way into print. No longer. Things change. Of course, they could change again, and again, before November 2004. But for now, the sounds of clinking champagne glasses have been replaced by jangling Republican nerves.... Things may change again, but you won’t hear much landslide talk for a while. And the champagne is back in the cellar.

Ah, Barbra. How do I love thee?

It's a disgrace that the case for war seems to have been based on shoddy intelligence, hyped intelligence and even false intelligence.... All the evidence points to the conclusion that they put a spin on the intelligence and a spin on the truth.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

I found myself writing today. I mean, w-r-i-t-i-n-g. Yesterday I sorta had a brainstorm on a storyline. Now, mind you, I never write stories or think anything along these lines. But suddenly, yesterday, I had this concept in my head. And then today I took a notebook with me to the coffeeshop and started writing out detailed descriptions of seven characters that would be involved in the ongoing stories. I'm thinking of the stories being little vignettes on Gay life. Am I a writer? Never thought of that. But here's too strange and fun ideas popping up in my head when I'm no longer stressed about work.

Talking with Brent tonight reminded me that I really want to watch the 80's movie "They Live" with its eerie "1984" type science-fiction plot.

Interested in seeing who's financially supporting Bush? I started looking through Missourians to see if I knew anyone, but it's such a long list I got tired. Ugh.

Fascinating, detailed analysis: "W.'s Christian Nation: How Bush promotes religion and erodes the separation of church and state"

Church/State lawsuit in my hometown. I saw it as someone trying to impose a religious ideology.... there were numerous implications that the only moral children were Christian children. Earley said we could not teach history without teaching religion. He seemed unable to separate his religious views from the instruction. At that point, I contacted the ACLU.-- Truman High School mother Evelyn Welk.

I always get great reading material from Kevin. A great guy with his ear to the ground.

Is it just me or does it seem like Pat Robertson is calling on God to strike down and kill several members of the Supreme Court?

And there, dear readers, exists the firm basis for bringing a charge of impeachment against the president who employed lies to lead us into war.

A film about a kids' spelling bee? That one made its own audience. Go see Spellbound. Find it, set your clock to it, and see it now!

THE WHITE HOUSE has told us "to move on" and forget... But the country is not going to move on, despite the... insistence that the matter "is closed." No, ...this matter is far from closed.

GAY LIFE

"Gay Life" on "Reality TV"???
The downside... is that it gives the impression that no straight man knows how to dress, decorate or choose wine, much less shave correctly. (Actually I don't know how to do those things either; does this mean I'm culturally straight?)
It's hard to imagine a more humiliating dupe than revealing to James that -- ha!, you picked a straight guy who has lied to you and doesn't share your emotional bond.
So this is the evolution since "Ellen"? It doesn't take a queer eye to see something's not right here.

"Black Thursday For Bush"

No Truman here. "The Buck Stops There."

GAY LIFE

Met. Dated. Decided to be friends instead. And that decision has quietly sabotaged every friendship or relationship I've had since.

Somehow, and I'm really not sure how, I injured my knee. My knee joint seems out of whack and there's this constant sharp pain. It seems to get worse at night. So I can't sleep and I'm in pain. This I do not like.

Monday, July 14, 2003

OHMIGOD, the state of the nation.
When you compare this post and the one from earlier today that I wrote about Justin, I realize that they may seem to negate each other's context, but in reality I'm in the mindset to be hopeful that younger folks are beginning to get more involved and recognizing the importance. What do you think?

I LOVE it when young people start getting active and know they can change the world a little at a time. Go Justin!

Gag.
Recently Whispers asked an MSNBC limo driver what it was like to squire [Arnold Schwarzenegger] and wife, Maria Shriver, around. "I almost choked to death," the driver says, noting that the possible California GOP gubernatorial candidate puffed away without cracking a window. GOP pals say T-3 never pays attention to smoking rules in nonsmoking offices and restaurants.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

You gotta love the Republicans trying to claim that the "case is closed" and the American people are "over it." So evil. The White House has a lot of explaining to do.

GAY LIFE

Why the Tears? Criminals No More!!!!
It's a great day when the highest court in the land apologizes, in essence, for a past mistake. With their words the justices sent the message that, in fact, we're not just a group to be tolerated, but people who are "entitled to respect." Thank you, Justice Kennedy.... It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The Supreme Court made me feel like the Constitution was truly there for all of us.... We owe a great deal of thanks to the attorneys who fought for the case, to the plaintiffs, and even to ourselves, for living openly and having had the courage to define our lives as worthy of respect--even before the Court made us "legal."
Why the Tears? Criminals No More
!!!!

More and more, with Bush administration pronouncements about the Iraq war, it depends on what the meaning of the word "is" is.

Saturday, July 12, 2003

By the way and for clarification purposes, I take absolutely no personal responsibility for anything I say on this page. It is up to my site administrator, Jessie, and my site host and content providers, Dreamhost and Blogger, to verify and substantiate everything I say on this page, whether or not they agree or believe it to be biased or inappropriate. If they would just tell me that what I write and say in public is wrong, then I will take the text out, but until that time, and since nothing previously has been said by them about the text I've so far written, I must assume that everything I say in public is factually true and sound even if I just make it all up. It's not my fault. I take no personal responsibility for my own public rantings.

Well at least somebody's saying something about the problems with the giant media mergers and how that may effect non-majority viewpoints and decisions on broadcasting who's "popular" and "of interest" to the public.

Could the Internet do for the left what talk radio has done for the right?

Friday, July 11, 2003

I realize it's stupid for me, especially in this light, to continue with AOL, but being stupid about computer stuff is why I've been with them for so long. Sigh. Basically, they're saying that they don't stand behind their product.... They're saying that no matter how much their service sucks, you can't hold them accountable.

It's yet another instance -- the 13,862nd, I think -- over which we shake our heads, imagining what the right would have done if a Gore administration had tried to get away with something like this. And so, once again, we are confronted with the same exasperating question: What has to happen to make the American people care about the lies told to get us into this war? .... Granted, it's only about war and peace and life and death and not something really important like a blow job, so it won't get the hyenas baying at fever pitch.

And pointless little Britney Spears, well, she was our emblem. The pitch-perfect little slut-starlet aegis of our virgin/whore innocence/smut touch-me/don't-touch-me sexual conundrum, all about grinding hips and licked lips and physical bliss and the hot-bodied sloe-eyed come-hither promise of something never really delivered. Ain't that just like America.

Jessie, bless his dear sweet crazy heart, fixed my comment system. Some comments were lost but mostly it works now. So hooray! Leave a comment, feel a part of my world, and thank the stars for dear sweet crazy Jessie.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

GAY LIFE

So, once again, the blood supply is too low for comfort. Well, if they'd get rid of the insipid and outdated ban on Gay men then maybe we wouldn't have these problems. In the meantime, even thought I've been recently tested and am negative for HIV, I still can't donate blood. How many heterosexuals out there can even tell that they're negative or not?

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Suing Clear Channel Communications: I went through hell. I was forced out because I would not comply with their orders to be silent.

Yesterday, Leslie, that great Woman of the World, came by to say hi. She's in the States very briefly to participate as the Maid of Honor in a friend's wedding. As such, she has many, many duties and activities to participate in and has had little time to see other friends. Today she was jetting off to Hawaii for a week's vacation to rest and relax and then she'll be back here for the wedding and then it's back off to Kenya to continue her Peace Corps assignment there through August of 2004. She's a world traveler. She hopes she can possibly extend her Bay Area visit by a week after the wedding, and if so, she will have time to catch up with me and other friends. She's a BUSY world traveler. It was great seeing her, if very briefly, yesterday. So brief we had to talk in her car because she couldn't find parking and she had to jet off soon after. Here's to Leslie staying an extra week in the Bay Area so we can watch our favorite movie's sequel together.

I've been a bit obsessed lately with this song that's played on the Spanish music station and all I could catch from the song was the word "importa." My little knowledge of Spanish only translates so much when the music and the singing is fast. But the song is so catchy and I've been trying to figure out who the song is sung by and what it is. So I've been doing research and finally found it here (you can hear a piece of the song off this site). I have been doing a lot of studying of my spanish lately and I'm getting better, but it is still difficult. Anyway, there's a whole bunch of music I love right now on the Spanish station and my favorite new hot guy is Jerry Rivera who I've liked for a while, but now I'm getting kinda obsessed. Do I dare buy his album mostly cuz he's hot? I am trying to learn more Spanish. It would help my career and my fluency. I should, I know I should. It's for the good of our nation.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Anyone who's read this blog and knows me, knows that I pretty much dislike Governor Davis, even though a Democrat. But I find any type of recall, outside of a 'high crime or misdemeanor' issue, absolutely detrimental to any type of political and social order. Witness what the whole impeachment mess took out on all of us and the government in the 90's. And for what? What did we gain from that mess? Nothing but daily political newstories and right-wing crap. We, as a nation and body politic, gained nothing.
"It can't get any worse" is not a rationale for a political circus that would allow pitchmen and clowns of all ideologies to have a shot at guiding our state.
It can get worse. ... Much worse. This is a state teetering on bankruptcy.... In fact, there is little doubt that the recall drive already is contributing to the dysfunction that has enveloped the state Capitol.

Not to discount the social power of a protest, but she has an important point:
Lighting candles will not change American foreign policy. Signing e-mail petitions will not restore civil liberties. Holding conferences and panel discussions and prayer vigils will not prevent this administration from declaring another war. Such gatherings might feed people's souls and make them feel productive, but for bottom-line results, nothing works like a visit to the voting booth.... The only way to reclaim power from George W. Bush is to make sure he doesn't win the 2004 election.

GAY LIFE

Remember, they will never give up and We have much further to go. We must continue to have constant vigilance against their insane view of America. We must never give up our fight for equality, even if We feel We may have won, for everything changes and they will certainly never give up their work against Us.
The Christian right is getting ready for a renewed culture war over homosexuality, but it's still working on the battle plan. A series of gay-rights victories in the past few weeks has left social conservatives appalled, apoplectic, and not quite sure how to respond.

U.S. soldiers are dying and dodging guerrilla bullets in a hot and hostile country and their commander-in-chief says, "Bring 'em on"? ... Get real...

Monday, July 07, 2003

An ode to Netflix. Jessie/Chris, are you guys "film maniacs"?

Sunday, July 06, 2003

She is the person who put women in pants, literally and figuratively.

Let's talk movies:

Last night the local PBS station had a double feature of Alfred Hitchcock movies that I just happened to flip into at the beginning of it. How fortuitous! They played Spellbound and Notorious both starring the wonderful Ingrid Bergman during what must have been her heyday in Hollywood. Anyway, both films were amazing. I'd seen them years ago as a kid and remembered bits and pieces, but watching them last night, for the first time again, was so engrossing.

More contemporarily, I've been seeing quite a few Hollywood movies of today at the theater and here's a few thoughts:
1) Charlie's Angeles 2 rocks! But mostly because it is so far-fetched and terrible and campy that it becomes wonderful. I especially liked Johnnyagogo's thoughts on the matter. So true.
2) As much as I wanted to like The Hulk I found myself bored to tears.
3) While everyone kept telling me I should see Finding Nemo, especially since I love kid's movies, I only found it ok. If it hadn't have been for the hysterical Ellen Degeneres I would have probably been bored there too.
4) But the movie that blows them all away and that everyone should try and seek out in their local independent theaters is the amazing Spellbound, not to be confused with the aforementioned Hitchcock movie of the same name. This current 'Spellbound' is a documentary on the national spelling bee and I found it so engaging and lively and scary and hopeful and brilliant. It had more tension in it than any Hollywood blockbuster ever could. So find it and check it out. Now.

Saturday, July 05, 2003

GAY LIFE

An interesting column on the differences at the San Francisco Pride Parade in 1986 (after the first sodomy decision by the Supreme Court) and this year's.
But if I ring this bell often, it's only because the generation wiped out by AIDS might have been able to pass on a history not covered in schools, where nongay people learn all about their past.

As I mentioned before, I always love this guy's column in the business section: If you're convinced that your company doesn't appreciate your talents, ask yourself a question: Are you too modest for your own good?

So my friends Ellen and Jon invited me to watch a performance of the San Francisco Mime Troupe in Dolores Park yesterday. My first mistake was assuming that the mime troupe were "mimes" in the sense that no words would be spoken. When they began talking to the audience, I turned to Ellen and said "they're talking?" and she said "yeah, they're not mimes." Oh. How odd. After reading their webpage's "about us" section I understand a little more, but how confusing.

However, my biggest mistake yesterday was my dress. For some reason I firmly believed that it was going to be cold in the park. Why, I have no idea now. It was the 4th of July. It was the middle of the day. There was no shade. So my wearing of heavy jeans and warmer clothes not only made no sense, but made me incredibly uncomfortable for the 4 hours we were sitting there. I almost left several times because I was so uncomfortable, not even counting the fact that sitting on the grass eventually becomes unbearable after an hour or so. Who knew grass could turn so hard?

I'm glad I went. I just wish I had been more properly prepared, dressed, and comfortable. Now I know.

Friday, July 04, 2003


Thursday, July 03, 2003

Spam vs. Spam.

Remember Enron and those other scandals that cost folks their jobs and their 401(k) savings? They were a result of deregulation, the mantra of the Republicans. Deregulation was most disastrous for California's energy market, in which a crisis cost jobs and threw the world's fifth-largest economy into long-term disruption....It is disingenuous for California Republicans to now blame Davis rather than their man Bush for the state's economic problems.... It is absurd to blame current difficulties on any state's governor, Republican or Democrat. It is the Bush administration that has mismanaged a successful economy inherited from Bill Clinton. It is the Bush administration that should bear responsibility for the difficulties being experienced by state governments.

GAY LIFE

The wonderful ACLU has a new website dedicated to moving forward in light of the amazingly great Supreme Court ruling for Gay rights last week. To quote from their site, "Equality is up to us." So true. So

Get Busy. Get Equal.

One of the primary justifications for treating gay people as second class citizens has been the claim that our relationships are wrong, and that we are therefore supposedly not entitled to equal respect. One of the primary ways people have tried to clinch the argument that our relationships are wrong is by pointing to so-called "sodomy" laws (some of which are aimed at same-sex relationships, and some of which technically are not). After the Supreme Court decision in the Texas case, that argument is just a dead letter. Our relationships aren’t a crime. And the constitution gives us the same right to be intimate, to form relationships, to live our lives, that it gives to heterosexuals.
Let's get bizaaay!

Interesting article about an upcoming CBS show, "The Agency," and its very cozy relationship with its setting inside the CIA. What makes it even more interesting is the history given in this article about a show in the 60's called "The FBI" about its namesake and their cozy relationship and how that led to a propogandized version of it all. Sad what people so blindly take in.

The hearings and the commission's work have not received extensive media notice, which is odd, since the panel is seeking to explain the most traumatic moment in recent US history. The New York Times did not cover the commission's last set of hearings, nor did most cable and network news shows.

This is in stark contrast to the fact that there are constant newstories about the commission looking into the shuttle disaster. But nothing, ever, on the 9/11 commission. Why? What are they hiding or fearful that will be brought out?

GAY LIFE

Sometime last year the free Gay magazine Frontiers closed down their San Francisco office and became an L.A. organization solely. With this shutdown, there were less opportunities for those of us in San Francisco to pick up the magazine and less local stories. It's been rather hard for me to find, and my friendly acquaintance Tim Kingston no longer is writing the wonderful political and local stories he was doing while there. It really is too bad.

Anyway, it's been a while since I found the magazine in San Francisco and I happened to pick it up this week. I'm glad I did because I remembered another reason why I loved reading it: the short, yet meaningful and important essays on Gay Life by a Gay San Francisco psychotherapist, Tom Moon. His articles are always so apt at capturing the Gay male lifestyle in the City and trying to help Gay men think through the larger social, spiritual, and health issues of life in San Francisco. Now that I've found his website, via the magazine, I plan to go there often to read his thoughts and insights.

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

I love my cat! She is so cute!

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

GAY LIFE

I was a bit harsh on Pride the other day. I've been feeling a bit guilty ever since I wrote that piece about being bored with Pride. That's not fair. Granted, I'm older and done it every year for the last 13 and being here in San Francisco where everyday I can walk around being openly Gay makes my feelings on it different. San Francisco is the biggest Pride in the world and is great fun for all the people who come from out of town for it, but for me it's just a wild crazy party that I feel sucked into. (My rockin' sister would LOVE it, but I've never really been the party type.)

Anyway, I know the power of Pride. I know how important it is by it's just being there. Not only for those who are there for it, but also for those who can't be there, who hear about it throughout San Francisco and the Bay Area and also who hear about it in little towns across the country. Because hearing about it and seeing it and knowing it exists makes it something to not be feared and that there is a place where it's ok to be Gay and where life is different and maybe possible for others to dream.

Pride is also of such monumental importance to smaller cities and towns where being in the parade or at the festival is a radical statement, a step out the door of the closet for many, a place for Gay people to be outdoors and not just locked away inside their homes or inside the bars because there is no outside community for fear of hate. I remember marching my first Prides in Kansas City and feeling this strong sense of pride and happiness in showing the world that I wasn't afraid anymore. I also remember looking around at the crowd and wondering who was seeing me and knowing I was Gay. It's a striking feeling. I was young and it was all so new. And in Kansas City, well, it wasn't San Francisco. Pride is also important for the larger community of those small towns and cities because it becomes a known entity; the city/town has to acknowledge that this event happened; it's on the news; it becomes a dinner table conversation even if it isn't a positive conversation; it is out there for the world. And that is the power of showing our presence.

There was a time when Gay people showing themselves for the world to see was an insane idea. In fact, insane is an appropriate term because Gay people were often thrown into insane asylums or the jails. So going out and being public about being Gay was social suicide. Prides began after We began to say enough is enough. The Stonewall Riots in 1969 began a new phase for everything. And Prides grew out of the initial, annual vigils to commemorate the event. They became a statement of being and of not-turning-back. And that's powerful.

I also know the power of Pride for the young and the newly Gay or the newly thinking about it or the newly thinking they might be able to come out someday. Pride means so much to them. I remember when I volunteered at the youth center in DC (SMYAL) and every year Pride was such a giant occasion for the youth with so many conversations and planning and making-the-float and some wondering whether they would have the strength to go to it for fear of being Out or outed or seen or hatred. Pride was so important to them. And it was important to me in that I wanted Pride to be wonderful for them. Just as Pride was so important to me when I was young and newly Out.

So, while I still feel personally bored with today's giant San Francisco version of Pride, I recognize the importance and power of Pride throughout the world, and even here in San Francisco. I met a young, newly coming Out youth at Pride on Sunday and I could tell how much it meant to him to be there. And that's why it's so important. And that's why Pride should continue every year.

My earlier rant about Pride was more like my often rants about the government. It's not that I hate my government or democracy or Pride. It's that I want them to be the best that they can be and so I notice and highlight the problems and wrong directions and mistakes. But it's not done in a hateful way, but in a way to prod them in a direction which can bear more wonderful fruit. (Fruit, how gay, ha.) So, while I bemoan Pride sometimes, I know why it's there; I recognize its power and strength and importance; and so here's to Pride and may it always be as wonderful as that very first one you ever attended.

One month down and now I start to get nervous. I won't lie people, it's hard looking for work in this terrible economy. It's hard. And really slow. SLOW. I paid bills today and just started feeling sad. Wish me luck. Thanks.

GAY LIFE

There's still many things I wanted to do with the theme of Gay Life as my Issue of the Month so I've decided to continue it for July:
July 2003:
GAY LIFE
Parte Dos
La Secuela


You cannot demand your rights, civil or otherwise, if you are unwilling to say what you are.--Merle Miller
It is better to be hated for what one is than to be loved for what one isn't.-- Andre Gide