"Come on down!" So long to the 'Price is Right' announcer.
Information on survivors was not available. Pitts said Roddy, who was single, never talked about his relatives except for his mother, who died several years ago. Hmmm....

Elections

I do really love the Bay Area. But I swear it is full of some wacko left-wing crazy people. And I say that as someone who is probably one of them. But seriously, where else would a ballot question such as this one (ballot Measure G, a stream-of-consciousness message about loving nature submitted by a woman who wears burlap and paints her face with chocolate) be allowed not only onto the ballot, but most likely passed, and for no other reason than 'why not'? Read the ballot initiative's language and try to make sense of it:

"Vote for Bolinas to be a socially acknowledged nature-loving town because to like to drink the water out of the lakes to like to eat the blueberries to like the bears is not hatred to hotels and motor boats. Dakar. Temporary and way to save life, skunks and foxes (airplanes to go over the ocean) and to make it beautiful."

Huh?

i've only just started.... and i already love my new job. this is going to be fun.

Groening to Murdoch: 'Go sue yourself!'
P.S. New 'Treehouse of Horror' this Sunday!

HOT

So, I have a job, a J-O-B... well, sorta, well, yeah, definitely.... um, kinda, yeah, I do. I do. Definitely. Yes. Let me explain.

First of all, as you may have noticed over the years, I don't generally talk about my employment on my website. I just don't feel it's a proper venue for that since this is a public forum and I feel the need to keep these things separate. Additionally, this space is my 'world' and that's what I want it to be, not necessarily dictated by employment issues. That said, I know that many of my regular readers have expressed hope and concern about my unemployment over the summer, and would be downright curious to know what has changed in that arena. Additionally, this current endeavor is one of great personal make-up and creation and those pieces of it are definitely part of my personal 'world' that I would want to share with you. With all of that said, I shall be brief (too late) in the subject matter and in the future discussions of this employment.

So, you may remember that I started temping at a friend's firm about a month ago transcribing materials. Well, about the second day of working on these transcriptions, I started thinking about the subject matter of the transcriptions and other subject matter with the type of work that my friend's firm (The Henne Group, a research firm-- focus groups, surveys, usability testing, interviews, etc.) does, and I kept thinking, I wonder if my friend knows so-and-so in the community, I wonder if my friend knows such-and-such community organization, I wonder if my friend has ties with these people who I know, and so forth.

At first, I was just thinking of people that my friend Jeff should meet. Then things started snowballing into more and more contacts I have that would be beneficial to him and his firm. He obliged me a brainstorming lunch with him where I went through a litany of ideas I had and then our discussion involved phrases like 'sounding like a director of marketing' and 'this is intriguing' and so forth. Another week or so went by and I put together a formal, written piece outlining a new position with his firm entitled 'Director of Business Development' (Thanks to Chris for brainstorming and editing it with me).

Now, starting today, I'm the new Director of Business Development for a research firm, where I had just been temporarily transcribing. Now, it's just part-time right now, and temporary, in the sense that it's only for a few months at first, just to see if this develops well and I actually can deliver and bring in business and so forth. I'm feeling strong and optimistic about that, but the major nerve-racking part to me is that I created this out of thin air and so it seems all tentative and issues of self-doubt can sometimes fill my mind. I'll be touching base with some of you dear readers in the near future who may have thoughts and interests about this new endeavor of mine and if our research firm can help with some of your office's activities and such. So be prepared for the call. :-) In the meantime, I have a job.... and I made it myself. How miraculous and bizarre is that?!

Unbelievable! More completely revisionist history continues.... Now Bush is saying, in his press conference yesterday, that he and the White House had nothing, that's right, nothing to do with the big sign on the aircraft carrier last May that read "Mission Accomplished" referring to what they declared was "combat" but is now referred to "major combat" in Iraq. "At this point nothing he says really surprises me,'' Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean said. And Democratic presidential candidate Joe Lieberman said it was "...another banner day in George Bush's quest to bring honor and integrity to the White House. If he wanted to prove he has trouble leveling with the American people, mission accomplished." Of course, what Bush said in his press conference is heard by millions; the retraction from the White House afterwards becomes a tiny blurb of correction later. Unbelievable!

Changing Times

I had dinner at one of my old haunts last night. It's the California Pizza Kitchen located near Union Square in San Francisco. I used to go there all the time, usually alone, with my paper to read, and I'd sit back at the back bar on a stool, eat a BBQ Chicken Chopped Salad, and relax for a while. Over time I befriended the waiter who served the backbar-- Noah-- who's a really great guy and I've hung out with him once in a while outside of the restaurant, especially when he's DJ'd at clubs, in his completely other life.

So, last night, it was like old times. I saw Noah working the backbar-- which he hadn't done in a long time-- and I went back there and sat down. I smiled at him and said, "Wow, this is like old times!" and he smiled and welcomed me. We chatted and caught each other up on things. Then he told me that the restaurant was closing next week. Apparently business has been slow. Wow, hard to imagine, it always seems busy to me, and it's located right in the heart of the Theater District. But, more Wow, this haunt of mine, with my friend Noah and my back stool and my many nights of friendly dinners with others, was closing for good. It's a chain restaurant, so there's other CPK's to go to, but this is the one that I love to go to, and this is where my friend Noah works, and this is my haunt at the backbar, and, and, and.... It's sad. Noah said it's a 'blessing' for him actually because he's been a waiter there for too long and he has so many other things he wants to do with his life-- which he does have so many other things going on. I know he'll be fine and he'll enjoy life beyond. But my haunt, and my friendly waiter, will be gone. And that's sad. It's hard to imagine. So strange, the changing times.

Their motivation isn't a big mystery. The reasons for showing up fall in two categories: "I thought it would be funny" and "my wife thought it would be funny."...
Life is comedy.... Just enjoy it.
I love that sentiment. Yeah.

Scientific McCarthyism and with quotes like this from right-wing crazies who are participating in the federal hit-list, you know where this is going: We know for a fact that millions and millions of dollars have been flushed down the toilet over years on this HIV, AIDS scam and sham... Stupid crazy people.

baaadooooo!!!!!
ono he diint

These are the days of whine and roses... actually, just many loving visits. Just a week or so ago, you know, my friend Martin was here. Then, this weekend, ever adorable Brent Riley visited. Next week, I'm getting a brief, quick visit from my brother-in-spirit Corby as he stops through the Bay Area for some errand of sorts. Next week, as she was just informed tonight and is ever so excited, my soon-to-be-10-year-old niece Mariah will be visiting her favorite Uncle Reese for a long weekend of merriment, fun, and chaos as we try to see every public park in the City once again before she scoots out of town. And then, finally, later in the month of November, the ever sweet David will be leaving on a jet plane from Missouri to visit us folks in San Francisco for another of those long weekends we're so fond of. (Too bad the awesome, gift-giving Jeff won't be with him.) Jessie, Chris and I plan to somehow show David every pizzeria in San Francisco while he's here-- or at least pretend to do so. All in all, many a visit, many a friend, many a love, many a heart's content.

Elections

Another thing I hate about San Francisco local politics is the way that candidates find their ways around the campaign finance laws by putting onto the ballot individual initiatives that promote their name and celebrity-cause 'issue of the day' while wasting voters' time with a long list of often unreal and unworthy time-consuming votes that could have been decided at City Hall or whatnot. It's similar to using wedge-issue politics on the national level, or soft-money campaign financing that promote causes by often fake groups or whatnot. Arnold did it last year by backing a statewide 'who could be against schoolkids' initiative that just gave him the ability to work the system statewide and boost his name. It's all the rage on the local level. It's not any specific group's or individual's fault, it's the system's, and something need to be done about it.

More historical revisionism in the works... Now that all of the White House pages about Iraq are no longer archived by Google, such historical revisionism will be harder to catch.

It's obvious that the White House wants to run out the clock here... As each day goes by, we learn that this government knew a whole lot more about these terrorists before Sept. 11 than it has ever admitted.

So the other day, last Tuesday to be exact, my friend Susan asked me to go with her to see the world film premiere of a new movie entitled Let's Get Real by the Academy Award winning documentary director Debra Chasnoff and her colleagues from the ultra cool Women's Educational Media. Susan got tickets because her boss, our local Assemblyman, Mark Leno received complimentary tickets to see the screening. I sat in his chair for the evening, right next to former Ambassador James Hormel, so in a way I was the 'acting Assemblyman' for the evening (I wonder if that means I could have made some appointments to commissions or whatnot, hmmm...).

Anyway, I digress. The point is the movie. These filmmakers made a few other movies in the past which focused on listening to children talk about current social issues like gay and lesbian people, different types of families, racial issues, and the like. They have been groundbreaking in the last few years in having these important films seen by teachers and educators around the country to get a stronger grasp of how kids view and understand 'grown-up' social issues. Fascinating stuff. This new movie, Let's Get Real, is about the subject of bullying, name-calling, and maltreatment by kids to kids and among kids. They interviewed youth who had been bullied, youth who witnessed bullying, and bullies themselves. It's amazing to hear youth talk and say things about reality that everybody knows, but that adults often have a hard time saying. Kids say real stuff with real conviction and real emotion and they know what's real. After the movie everyone was talking about if or when they were bullied when they were in school, or what they witnessed, or what even they may have done to others. It's a powerful subject that is well known at schools, but how much of it is discussed today as adults?

I told my friend Susan, who asked about my experiences, that I was often bullied as a kid-- all the time in fact. I was often ridiculed and teased and pushed and threatened and picked on. Many times because I wasn't masculine enough and I was called 'gay' and 'sissy' and so forth. Other times just because they knew I wouldn't fight back-- as angry or upset as I might get, I didn't want to fight or say anything, I just wanted to be left alone. But I was never left alone. I had spitballs flung at me, one even landing in my eye. I had all kinds of names said. I had my watch stolen while being pushed up against a wall. I had a regular jerk who would pretend he wanted to be my 'husband' at lunchtime and would continually stand in my way and make kissing noises and stuff, all just to make the rest of the lunchtime crowd laught at my expense. I, well, there were just so many traumatic episodes that I'll never forget, and maybe some that are too hard to remember. I just remember crying a whole lot and wishing it would stop.

Susan said at one point that she would have defended me, and I said that she could have been one of my female friends from back then who would stand up for me by saying "He's not gay! Leave him alone." She laughed. But that's how they 'defended' me, in their way. Mostly, the point of all of this, is that the movie provoked discussions about real issues involving kids and many negative interactions that need to be addressed to lessen the harm. Teachers and educators need to see this film. And we everyday people need to be more vocal in discussing our pasts and experiences so that these can be better understood.

In what ways did bullying affect you?

One of the things that I hate about San Francisco politics is the 'holier than thou' attitude of the Left here. Now, understand, especially for those from outside the local area, that I speak as a major liberal, but the politics of San Francisco is another universe entirely. I've spoken of that before and don't plan to get into it again here. However, there's a trend here that I find detrimental to appropriate public policy and it's the same one I see from the Republicans on the state and national levels. This trend is following the 'holier-than-thou' attitude, categorizing your opponents into little boxes to where they're not human beings or three-dimensional, and treating them as devils with no hope for understanding or redemption. Some of you may think, from reading my posts and diatribes and such on here, that I feel this way about Republicans, and to some extent I can get very 'political' as such too, but I generally, on a policy level, respect the people and the processes whereby we collectively debate and decide and construct policy.

In San Francisco, I see my fellow liberals, mostly the ones who are much further to the left than I and who have a 'holier-than-thou' attitude as doing this same type of negative political gamesmanship that the right-wing does on the state and national level. And it sickens me. It hurts me even more because often I agree with some of their politics, especially nationally, but cannot condone or understand their virulent, childish, and nasty behavior locally.

This last week was one such situation. One local, childish supervisor took a collegial, peace-making, friendly gesture and used it to stab people in the back and push his own political agenda forward, without any care for how his 'means' would look in respect to his 'ends.' This is the kind of disgusting activity I generally hate and despise from the right-wing on a daily basis, and here is a left-wing guy in my hometown doing this, and it sickens me. What a sad way to hurt the political process that one needs to have a collegial and productive debate among differing viewpoints on policy.

Our Mayor, who was blindsided by this act of temerity, said it well: "You cannot accept any justification of conduct that's inappropriate based on end results. (Osama) bin Laden says the same thing about his conduct. Hitler said the same thing about his conduct. ... In a democracy, you follow the rules and regulations. There's no purity in any other way of doing it.''

But of course, this is San Francisco, and we have a politic made up of dudes named Nacho: "Dude, don't hate the player, hate the game," said a 24-year-old bicycle messenger who goes by Nacho.... "Oh yeah, that was tight. How else are you going to get (stuff) done?" Nacho said. "I'd do the same thing if I was acting mayor, like appoint my cousin to all kinds of commissions." Not to take anything away from everybody participating in politics, but it's the holier-than-thou attitudes that distress me the most. And here in San Francisco, we have so much 'holier than thou' attitude throughout the Left here that it makes it hard to make sure proper procedures, collegial respect, and public policy are afforded the role they need in our government.

"If you live in San Francisco long enough, you can work around a menu,'' which is about the extent of his Cantonese

Elections

Another reason to be exasperated with the whole Recall monolith: important, regularly scheduled elections like the mayoral election here in San Francisco, which is in less than 2 weeks, are so out of focus. I can't even get focused on it, and I'm hard-core. I predicted that rather than the recall galvanizing voters after its election, it would have the effect of disinteresting voters for quite some time, until the next statewide or national elecitons next year. This makes a hard case for those elections that are more localized and less media-driven. I hope I'm wrong, but I have a feeling that this important mayoral election in San Francisco will produce a record low-turnout.

One way to beat this problem is by making the election fun and friendly. My good friend Susan is just such a problem-solver. She's throwing a ballot-party next week which will be inviting a large number of her friends over to her house. Each of the invitees will be assigned an issue or candidate to research and offer recommendations to the group. We eat food, we drink, we laugh, we play games, and we also talk about important issues on the election. We leave with information and having had good times. Susan is awesome! And I look forward to being a part of this, especially to help get my own self focused on this important election. What are some other ways we can get motivated, or get others motivated?

A very sad testament to the mad gun-culture and cycle of violence we accept as reality here in the United States: It's unreal for me that he lived through Iraq when people were shooting every which way, and he died at something so random like a party in Long Beach...

Your patient records are out in the open to be exposed...

I apologize to my friend Martin that I didn't get a chance to post about the wonderful time I had with him while he visited me a week ago. I had the best time. It was so awesome catching up with him and reconnecting and bonding and hanging. We didn't really even do anything major, like tourism or events or whatnot, our time mostly spent doing errands and getting our hair cuts, and just goofing off and reading, but it was the best time. I felt so relaxed and comfortable and happy that he was here. And he left me a laptop too! He's the best and I wish I could hang with him all the time.

Sorry, people, been very busy over the last few days putting together major million-dollar business deals (ha, well, not exactly, but).... Anyway, in the meantime, discuss the beauty and fun of my friends' (Amy & Michelle) new online catalog of great gift ideas, politically cool items for sell (notecards, t-shirts, mousepads, and the like), and cool, fun, political poster art. Anyone who's been to my house will know I have a lot of their poster art (each signed by the artist Amy) in my house-- I love what they do and the two of them are awesome! And be sure to check out their cool holiday cards for the upcoming seasonal wishes and such. Oh, and when you order, tell 'em Reese sent you.

I've actually been checking these books out at the library for things to read in learning Spanish and they're great: It's ironic that in a state that outlawed bilingual education, such books are in huge demand.

What a great, creative project!
If you ask a kindergarten class how many of them are artists, they'll all raise their hands. Ask the same question of sixth-graders, and maybe one-third will respond. Ask high school grads, and few will admit to it.
Doing this project has made me convinced of one thing. Creativity is alive and well. The project has given me a lot of hope.

Elections

New Issue of the Month is up. Check out my thoughts and other details on the subject of the month by clicking here.

October 2003: Elections

Never think that your opinion doesn't matter. And never let an election go by without expressing your opinion by voting. It always makes a difference, especially when you think it won't. Vote.

Yesterday I got my very first, real paycheck since May. (This was from my temping work I"m doing for a friend's firm.) Wow. It was so strangely exciting. What once was normal because a moment of reflection and thrill. I still need a full job and more money, but it was exciting none the less. Yay me!

To my ever-partying sister, they may be 'reining in' the Halloween festivities this year (which has been badly needed because they are getting explosive and out of control) in the Castro, but anyway you might look at it, San Francisco takes Halloween seriously and it is one giant, wild 'mardi gras.' I've said it before and I'll say it again, as much as you love the nightlife and Las Vegas and parties, you will love Halloween in San Francisco. That goes for you other party crazy readers out there too. I, myself, will most likely be staying away and reading something because I'm lame and old.

...someone needs to write a sequel to 1984. It would be called 2003.

Que surprise, Bush is faking letters to local newspapers from G.I.'s who don't even know they've been written. And the letters are all the same form letter. How much fake publicity is going on out there?

Leslie, that great Woman of the World, sends us another report from her Kenya Peace Corps assignment. It would seem she's 'run into' a great deal of new, large animals throughout the countryside:

"Just thought I would give you a little update on my life in Kenya. I spent last weekend in Tsavo West, a park located at the base of Kilimanjaro!! It is such a beautiful mountain, I feel so lucky that I have had the chance to spend so much time there recently! This last weekend was a long weekend because it was Moi day. Most people here boycotted doing much because they really don't know how to react to such a day (They are not to found of Moi) but they still like having the day off. I think they should just call it President's Day!

"Anyway Friday my friends Cathy and Lydie (the Barbie Girls as we call our selves!) drove in Lydie's car to the park... oh the adventures of three girls in a old Subaru begin!! It is very nerve racking driving into the middle of nowhere in a car that constantly reminds you that it is old. Needless to say we almost broke down twice! In addition, we came very close to hitting an elephant and just barely missed a hippo!! Literally by inches we missed, as we came around a corner this hippo ran across the road!! Luckily Lydie's car has great breaks!!! I am not sure who was scared more the hippo or us! It was the first time I saw a hippo out of the water, they look like big sausages and hitting one would cause great damage to the car! We also saw a pack of wild dogs that have Micky Mouse ears and a Caracal (a very rare cat with beautiful ears). We also saw the usual suspects of Elephants, Giraffe, gazelles, Water buck, Elan, Kudu and Zebra. I have yet to see a Lion or Cheetah this time around and wounder if I will ever see a Leopard or if they really exist.

"We ended Saturday by watching the sun set behind Kili drinking wine and snacking on crisps. It was a lot of fun hanging with the girls, seeing some animals and having a break from city life!! I am back in Mombasa now and back at work which is a bit stagnate due a small problem we are having with the Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS). The warden in Shimoni is not to keen on working with us because she does not't have full control financially over our project. Also Ramadan will begin in a few weeks and life here pretty much comes to a halt. I am compiling a cook book for the Wasini Group and hope to include some Ramadan Specials so that is what I will be working on for the next month.

"For now I am helping out on various projects in Diani and Shimoni and just taking Kenya in day by day. I hope all of you are well!!"

Take Care,
Leslie

Great article on the ease of buying drugs, any kind of drugs, on the streets. And pretty near my house in SF too. Freaky.
And that's the difference between people like Limbaugh and the addict on the street. The street addict begs and scams for his drug money. Folks like Limbaugh go to the ATM. Both groups are junkies. Both are buying drugs illegally. But only one group ends up in jail.

ever get excited about those things that you once feared? a whole new wonderful world may be opening up.

George W. Bush's Medieval Presidency

I've often felt, and said so at the time, that conservative right-winger Pat Buchanan's move from the Republican party to the Reform Party for the 2000 presidential election was a three-part hidden agenda: 1) Get the public financing that had grown to spread his conservative rhetoric; 2) Make Bush look 'compassionate' and 'moderate'; and most importantly, 3) destroy the Reform Party (which had in many ways hurt the senior Bush's reelection bid in 1992). I see from the linked article, that all three now have come to pass.

I don't pretend to know or care about sports, any sports. There was a brief thrill last year, or was it two years ago, when the local San Francisco Giants were all the rage and almost won the World Series. I didn't care much other than it felt like a collective thing here and I knew it would benefit the City. I also occasionally have a hometown reaction to Kansas City teams. But really, I don't much care.

However, I do have friends who care. And I especially have a certain, very close friend, who's been a major Chicago Cubs fan for, well, his whole life. He's been so excited this fall as the Cubs were close to making it to the World Series. Today, upon their very close loss, he's in pain. And that I do care about and understand. So I wish him, and other Cubs fans, well.

ever get scared and freaked out about wonderful possibilities in the future?

pants on fire.net

...the White House and Pentagon made up or distorted over 50 war stories. You know some tall tales, like the Pvt. Jessica Lynch story. But there's more... Maybe soon, the truth will come out.

I never thought I'd have a quote from Rush Limbaugh on my page, ever, but, well, here's his words from 1995: And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up... The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them and send them up the river, too.
Funny, I have a feeling he'll be asking for personal understanding, medical treatment, and leniency for himself.

I just got my absentee ballot in the mail. For what? We just had the big recall election and it's over. Oh, right, the real, regularly scheduled election that's in just a few weeks here in San Francisco where we're deciding 'unimportant' things like Mayor, District Attorney, and many initiatives. Who remembers that? I pay attention to these kind of things and I am so overwhelmed by what happened in the recall race that I barely care about the upcoming local election. It's really sad, because these are important issues. But I fear that, even though the state witnessed record turnout for the recall, I fear that the regular elections around the state, including this important local one here in San Francisco on November 4th will produce low turnouts-- low turnout numbers because people are simply tired of elections, overwhelmed by the recall, and the press is totally obsessed with what's happening with the new Governor and his new initiatives and programs and ideas and campaign rhetoric that doesn't match what he actually will do, and so forth. So, I predict record low turnout for November. Sad. Now, I have to go read through my election information and figure out what is going on locally once again.

Finally, the mystery is solved. Growing up in the Midwest, whenever my friends or I would eat at Chinese restaurants, we would order Crab Rangoon, a necessary and yummy side order. When I moved to the East Coast and then the West Coast, I would try and specifically order Crab Rangoon, but it was never on the menus and the waiters had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. But when I'd go home to Kansas City on trips and would go to eat Chinese, there would be Crab Rangoon everywhere. I could never figure that out. Why would Midwestern Chinese restaurants have a Chinese speciality that more Asian-American locales on the East and West coasts wouldn't and wouldn't even know about? Well, thanks to an enterprising young Asian-American woman from the Bay Area who traveled throughout the country determining the differences in Chinese restaurants, we now have the answer:
But there you have what people think is Chinese food. It's a vicious cycle because restaurants adapt to local tastes. They see people really like that, so that's what they serve. Then people think that's what Chinese food is. So there are all these layers of weird perceptions and misperceptions that are fascinating.... I never heard of these things [Crab Rangoon] until I started working on the project... I googled it and came up with these scary recipes. They all involve cream cheese -- you know, that quintessential Chinese ingredient -- and fake crab meat and some onions. They serve it with a scary red sauce. It's everywhere. People out there love it. It's, like, mandatory. I think it's an evil alien plot.

It finally arrived. As mentioned on Friday, dear sweet Jeff sent me a package via my Amazon.com account, but it never got here even though it said it was delivered. Coincidentally, the same day I called about it, it showed up, and now I can see that he was sweet and generous and sent me the DVD edition of one of my all-time, and my family's all-time, favorite movies: What's Up Doc?.

And as I said to Jeff yesterday on the phone, this movie has special sentimental value to me and my family. When my brother, sister, and I were kids, our mom, who's a giant Barbra fan, recorded the movie off the TV one afternoon (this was back when we first got a VCR and they were new and all the rage and everybody suddenly realized you could record stuff and watch them over and over, you know, the early 1980's). Anyway, my siblings and I would watch that over and over with my mom. We must have watched it a million times. And the funny thing is, when she recorded it that first time, it was during a thunderstorm in Kansas City, and so throughout the whole movie there's this thunderstorm warning at the bottom of the screen; it's going to be fun watching the movie without the thunderstorm warning, but then I may also miss it in a way.

Anyway, thanks again Jeff!

P.S. I've already decided, especially after reading this article yesterday, that for my next birthday, I really want, and deserve, a trickling, landscaped water fountain in my backyard. I don't have a landscape or a yard or a house, but I need a water fountain in it.

Today is the 1st anniversary of when Amaya and I met at SPCA and I took her home with me. One whole year. While I'll admit she's completely PSYCHO and has needed some definite time in getting used to me, and has had some major problems with guests of mine (including a small attack of my visiting friend Martin yesterday, ugh), I love, love, love having her here with me. Isn't it wonderful?

To be filed under the category of 'when the squeaky wheel doesn't get the oil, but at least gets some acknowledge that it's spinning':

I regards to the position I didn't get, which I referenced a while back, I received a letter, a personal letter this time, from my ED of said organization thanking me for my interest and offering specific thoughts on their search criteria. While I may still disagree with the fact that I didn't get a chance to interview and/or to discuss my more than appropriate qualifications, and I'm still disillusioned that I didn't get the job, I do appreciate the personal note this time. The letter's not going to pay my bills though. And the letter's not going to substitute for the experience, interest, and dedication I would have brought to them. But there's a letter noting my spinning wheel now.

I just knew it had to be some kind of hippie, left-wing conspiracy.

I'm working in an office where we share the kitchen with Mother Jones magazine. And they have a coffee machine for the employees, featuring of course, good, left-wing, shade-grown coffee beans and such. But I could not find anywhere, any stirrers. So I would constantly be using a new spoon everytime I would get more coffee and I felt like that was just such a waste of having to wash spoons and stuff. So this morning I finally asked about where the stirrers were and they laid into me about how it's terrible to waste all those little plastic pieces for such a thing. They then proceeded to create a communal spoon on a dish for all to use. Hippies. I'll never understand.

Did anyone else try to send me a birthday gift that I may not have acknowledged because I didn't know about it lately? Sweet Jeff sent me something via Amazon for my birthday and he just asked me if it had arrived, and supposedly they say it did arrive two weeks ago, but I haven't received anything. I hate that. I hate not knowing stuff.

I hate it when these guys fly overhead. It's so LOUD! And these days, I'm trying to work at my temp job doing transcription work where I have to hear conversations to tape, and it's impossible when they're flying overhead. I hate it!

"Like your civics teacher in high school, only huggable." Chris's choice of words in describing me. Hmmm, I'm way more than huggable baby.

another weird day today.... too many people involved who may read this, but suffice it to say, a very strange day indeed.

some great news though: Martin has just arrived tonight for a long weekend of fun and mayhem.

I can always tell when the caffeine starts to kick in. I start to feel giddy and I have these flashes of daydreams where I see myself hugging people I love. I wish that feeling lasted all day.

(Holding the ballot before the voter) There are 4 questions on the ballot. The first one is here. (pointing to the up-left corner) The second one is on both the front... (doing my Vanna White impression and waving to both sides of the ballot card) ...and the back. The third and fourth questions are on the back, down here (pointing to the lower right corner). You mark your ballot by connected the arrow next to your choice like this (marking how a connection is made with my pen on an arrow on my table). There's a marker in the booth. When you're done, bring the materials back up here and it goes in the machine. Please let us know if you have any questions.

And with that I moved on to the next voter. Such was my constant mantra yesterday with the tons of voters who came up to our precinct. I had the job, most of the day, of handing out the ballots. Of all the jobs for the four of us workers, I most wanted to do that one as I had my own specific agenda. I wanted to make gawddammnnedsure that everyone noticed the two propositions on the back of the ballot. We were instructed to make sure people noticed both sides and all four questions, but I wanted to be the one who was making sure it was definitely said-- I can just imagine some precincts just handing over the ballots without even saying anything about what was on there. And, when I was on break or doing other things, I noticed my coworkers picked up my same mantra, as they said it was a good explanation of the card.

There was no way my voters were going to leave without knowing that Propositions 54 and 53 were on the back of the card. My little agenda for the day.

Man, I've had the weirdest day. First, I'm so exhausted from the pollworking yesterday (and also maybe feeling a slight cold coming on) that I cannot get out of bed. Everytime I think I'm awake and ready to go outside I end up falling asleep again. It's 4:30 now and I've been asleep most of the day. Secondly, my cat wakes up and starts meowing strangely and looking up at the wall. There's some kind of strange, big, reddish-looking bug on the wall and she seems scared of it. It was freaky. I get my fly-swatter out and smack at it, but totally miss and knock it to the ground where she proceeds to attack it. Then she walks away from it and goes into the closet and hides, licking her lips constantly. I kill it this time and flush it, but she won't come out of the closet. Finally, she's out of there now, but she seems skiddish about everything now.

As you probably can figure, I'm not happy with the results of the gubernatorial recall, but, honestly, nobody likes or liked Davis. I certainly never did-- except for when he was first elected in 1998 and everyone thought he was going to be this great liberal Democratic hope-- and-- except for the last two months during the recall campaign when he finally changed tune and became that great liberal Democratic hope. Too late. He turned off the electorate, including his base, from early on by being self-involved and money-hungry and arrogant. Everyone hated him. I didn't even push my friends that hard to vote for him in 2002, even with a right-wing Republican against him, because I hated him so much too.

The only reason I, and many other Democrats, including liberal Democrats, rallied against the recall within the last two months was not to save Davis himself, but to save the system. It was democracy being bought and sold and used for entertainment to the masses. And it was grossly unfair and, as I've said before, part of an ongoing effort by Republicans to change the rules midgame and win elections that they can't--Clinton's impeachment, Florida 2000, redistricting efforts, and now California. It was never a love for Davis that motivated me or many others; it was a love for democracy. But, in this American obsession with personality and soundbytes over substance and policy, the person often matters more than the policies and groups behind them. So, even though I believe California is more Democratic on policies and issues, our leader of the party in the state was a man everyone hated. And that's not something that is easy to get beyond with the electorate.

Additionally, again, even though I'm not happy with the recall's results, I can't help but be thrilled with the numbers in turnout at the polls. People, everyday people, many who had never voted before, many who hadn't voted in years, people came out and made a choice and used their voice. And that is something I am thrilled about. As usual, I worked the election as a pollworker, and we were busier than I have ever seen. It was a constant pace of people. And there were new voters and there were people who hadn't voted in years. And that was wonderful, regardless of their decisions. People were involved and cared and it made me so happy yesterday that we were really getting a voice of the public, even if it wasn't the message I necessarily wanted to hear. The people were making their voice heard. And that's a good thing. I was elated about that last night and will continue to be, even as I struggle to get used to the idea of a Gov. S..., well you know.

Next, YES! We did this. We didn't have the money. We didn't have the time to put together a real campaign. We didn't have anything in place. And we weren't ready. But, when push came to shove, and this Proposition, Proposition 54, was suddenly hoisted upon us at the last minute, we spread the word, got out the message, campaigned like crazy, and we WON. Proposition 54 has been soundly defeated. Celebrate that! We did it!

And, finally, it's time to move on to the next struggle. Because we can, and always have to, pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off, celebrate the victories we do get, and work towards the next struggle. Because there's always another struggle in our ongoing fight for freedom and liberty and democracy and the pursuit of happiness. To use the words of Thomas Jefferson, it takes "constant vigilance." But constant vigilance doesn't mean to tear us or wear us down. It means, recognizing that this is an ongoing process that eventually will bear fruits. So, breathe, relax, gird yourself to the realities, celebrate your victories, and move on. . . Because there are always a beautiful blue sky and sunny flowers and happy people to surround yourself with. Enjoy life and enjoy the love that surrounds and warm yourself to the fact that you have made a difference in your democracy and in making your life enjoyable and free.

At least, thankfully, it's finally over. Thoughts and such tomorrow.

Vote Californians, VOTE.
Don't silence your own voice.

VOTE NO ON EVERYTHING

Vote NO on the Recall
Vote NO on Prop 53
Vote NO on Prop 54
Vote NO on Arnold, by voting for Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante

GAY LIFE

This so-called 'Marriage Protection Week' plays the same dishonest word games as the anti-gay industry's disingenuous claims that civil rights are actually 'special rights.'
At least somebody's really angry about it, although, dear Justin, violence is never the answer.

I've had some dates here and there lately. Nothing major, nothing that went anywhere, nothing usually does. But I had another one yesterday, a brief quiet affair. It was nice. Don't know what to make of it; don't know whether it will move into other dates or it if will fall into the category of the usual one-date wonders. But it was nice. And I felt comfortable. And I just thought I'd mention it.

Just got off the phone with dear Chris who's extra excited about waking up at 4:30am and walking in the cold San Francisco night air with me so he and I can get to our polling place and set it up for the big election day tomorrow. He just can't wait to work with me and all those happy voters from 6:00am until 9:00pm. And he can't wait to get a hundred bucks from the City. He's happy I convinced him to become a City pollworker. I'm happy too.

Now, you see what we're doing for you people. The least you could do is actually vote while we're working our butts off for you. 'Nuff said.

A new era in technology and politics. Yesterday, while Jessie was voting absentee at City Hall, he text messaged me to ask a quick question on one of the issues. I text messaged him back. All is well. Gotta love it!

So yesterday while my friend Susan and I were making suckers for today's Castro Street Fair, we're channel surfing at her home. She wants to watch some reality television show on MTV featuring Jessica Simpson and her new hot husband. I want to watch cartoons. Neither is happy with the other so we're flipping, and we run across the Game Show Channel and it's mockery of a debate: Who Wants to be Governor of California? From a political point of view it was a sad testament to our current situation. From a satirical point of view, it was genius and hilarious. It honestly felt like a mix of the movie Network and a Simpsons episode. As Jessie has been fond of saying of late: "Where are we going with all this?"

NO ON PROP 54

We're making a difference people! Good 4 us! Keep spreading the word.
This is not a 'pretend' life where we can just say we're colorblind. This is about attitude, about experiences. There's no amount of 'pretending' that can change that.

Look, Californians, this election on Tuesday is very easy. VERY EASY. There's only 4 questions and all you have to do is, on all 4 questions, is to remember to VOTE NO ON EVERYTHING.

Vote NO on the Recall
Vote NO on Prop 53
Vote NO on Prop 54
Vote NO on Arnold, by voting for Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante

No matter how you feel about any of the candidates specifically, by voting NO on everything, and especially the NO on the recall, you are sending a message that this attempted coup has been a disastrous waste of time and money and a complete and ludicrous circus. This is not democracy in action; this is democracy run amok and has made a mockery of our public systems. We must put a stop to this type of destruction before it begins to take over our regular democratic process every year.

Remember, VOTE NO ON EVERYTHING.

And for those readers who don't live in California, you can help by sending the same message (VOTE NO ON EVERYTHING on Tuesday, October 7) to your California friends and family today.

CHOICE

American women, watch out! These congressmen are wanting . . . to make the most personal decision for you, instead of you making it with your husband and your doctor.

I think we all know what Jessie and Chris will be watching tonight: So, you want eye candy? The guy's out of his shirt for 90 percent of the show. They haven't quite found a way to get him living in his tighty whities, but we haven't got to sweeps just yet.

do you ever wake up with a whole slew of new ideas and you get excited and can't wait to express or do them? today's just a day like that.

Ok, so let me understand this... The chief spokesperson, one of the key staff members of Senator Kit Bond's (R-MO) office, has been running a blog, much like mine or yours except that it's an anti-Democratic blog for Missouri Republicans, that was purposefully named after the plane in which former Governor Mel Carnahan (D-MO) died in 2000. How disgusting.

California has very serious problems that need sober and rational solutions -- not stand-up comedy bits and recycled one-liners from movies

It's one more nail in the coffin that divides entertainment from news.... We are heading off to some entirely uncharted waters here as far as politics and entertainment.

Shocking. Just shocking. ESPN hired a vitriolic, hate-filled bigot and now they and others seem shocked that he made an offensive and racist statement. You get what you pay for. Shocking, indeed.

NO ON PROP 54

It's now October, and therefore, time for a new Issue of the Month. However, the election, on Proposition 54 and the recall, is next Tuesday, October 7th. Therefore, I will continue with my Issue on 'No on Proposition 54' until said election and I will continue to encourage you and others to vote against it on Tuesday. Spread the word: Find the question on Proposition 54 on your ballot (it may be hard to find since there's 130+ candidates on this insipid recall election ballot) and vote No on 54.

NO ON PROP 54

Prop. 54 can't wipe away racism. It will just mean that scientists like him will no longer be able to examine it.

NO ON PROP 54

To pretend that race does not matter is worse than naïve. It is dangerous... We recommend a no vote on Oct. 7. -- San Francisco Chronicle

In the midst of hell, two positive things happened today:

1) I started a temporary position with a friend's agency where I'll be doing transcription work. It's pretty easy for me as I love to type and I'm pretty fast at it. So I do now have something of an income at least.

2) My sister asked my soon-to-be-10yo niece what she wanted most for her upcoming birthday. She said she wanted to visit her "Uncle Reese" in San Francisco. Ahh... I'm more fun than toys.

"Thank you for applying for the position.... We appreciate your patience during the hiring process and apologize for the lateness of this response.

"We received a very large number of extraordinarily impressive applications.... and the decision was a most difficult one. After a long deliberation, we've finally selected a candidate whose background and skills more closely met the needs of the organization at this time.

"Please know that we deeply appreciate your interest... and wish you the best of luck in your current job search."

I'm used to these rejection letters. It goes with the territory in looking for a job, any job, even ones where you are qualified. But this one specifically hurts because I was absolutely, positively, unequivocably perfect for this job-- my background, my interests, everything. And I waaannnttteeeddd it. Badly. Even if it didn't pay what I would like. It was perfect for me and I was perfect for the job.

And for some unknown reason, I didn't even get an interview. That hurts more than anything. And this rejection is worse than any I've ever gotten (even more than the time when I was in college and didn't get the job at the record store I really wanted). I'm dumbfounded and more than depressed by it all. Unbelievable.